I Have No Mouth, And I Must Scream
by theescapist99
Summary: MCR story. Everyone's in high spirits with a new album release and an awesome new manager, until they realize something is horribly wrong with Gerard. Frerard eventually. Also on Ficwad.
1. The New Manager

A/N: I'm going back into darkfic mode again. Be warned. :p But yeah, here's that similar fanfic I promised. Also came to me during a song. God, I have the weirdest daydreams.

I Have No Mouth, And I Must Scream

Chapter One: The New Manager.

Gerard Way was 17. He was wounded. He wasn't sure where to go. He couldn't go back home. He wandered the streets aimlessly instead, trying to think of anywhere he could take refuge. He was dizzy and afraid if he didn't find help soon, he would collapse. Mentally, he kicked himself.

Fuck him and his stupid ideas.

They were in the process of recording Danger Days. Things were in havoc because they had recently let go of their manager and were on the search for a new one, and with this album's release fast approaching, they needed to find one fast. The band was exasperated. They had been through countless offers, interviews, and meetings, but no one seemed to fit the bill. Either they would come off as a total asshole, or overly nervous, or knew nothing about running a band... there was always something. Until one very fine summer's day.

Mikey and Frank were meeting this one at a Starbucks at The Grove in Los Angeles. Gerard and Ray had gone off for an interview. A very handsome, built man sat in front of them with a very charming smile. He had long blonde locks that were tied back into a neat pony tail. They matched the slight amount of stubble on his chin. His skin was pale, and his eyes a very striking blue. A man of Finnish decent. He also smelled very nicely, Frank took a mental note. They were getting along famously. This guy was awesome. He knew about comics, video games, all their favorite things. He got their humor great, laughed at all their jokes and they found him hilarious as well. And he knew about the business too. He had managed three different bands before, all of which he was still on good terms with. He knew about music, and he knew about My Chem. He claimed to have had been following their music ever since Three Cheers.

It would seem they had found their man.

Mikey and Frank were both incredibly excited to show Gerard their new friend and potential new manager. They weren't about to make it official without his say so, of course. Mikey had let himself, Frank, and their new friend James into Gerard's house to play some Fallout 3 and wait for Gee and Ray to get home. Lindsey was away on an MSI tour and had taken Bandit with her. The more they got to know James the better he got. He scrolled through Gerard's library of DVD's and it became clear he loved all the movies they did. Gerard was going to love this guy.

Finally, a few hours and beer cans later, they heard the door unlock, and Gerard and Ray stepped in. They greeted them, and Mikey was the first to shove James in Gerard's face.

"Gee! This is our new friend James Holopainen! We think we found our new manager!"

Then came a very odd 10 or so seconds.

Gerard's grin was instantly wiped off his face, his eyes were wide, and for a moment it looked as though he was going to be sick.

"Gerard Way." James held out a hand for him to shake. Gerard ignored it.

"I have to go to the bathroom.", Gerard squeaked out before practically running to the loo.

"What was that about?", Frank stared after him, quite perplexed.

"Rock stars, they're so erratic these days.", James laughed as he placed an arm around Mikey and asked him to show him more of his own favorite comic book collection.

Frank frowned as he heard Gerard retching in the bathroom. Ray saw it and shrugged, "Maybe it was just something he ate?"

Frank nodded and tried to shrug it off, but something was bothering him about it. Gerard hadn't come out of the bathroom for 3 hours when he finally gave in and knocked on the door.

"Gerard? You okay in there?"

The door opened and Gerard came out looking shaken.

"Whats wrong with you?", Frank eyed him.

"Nothing.", Gerard replied with an unconvincing smile. "Might have the flu. I'm just gonna..."

And he brushed past Frank before even completing the sentence, heading towards the bedroom. Frank watched Gerard collapse on his bed and pull the sheets over himself immediately.

"He okay?"

Frank jumped as he suddenly realized James had been standing right behind him.

"Wha-? Oh yeah, I think he's just a little sick.", Frank replied before turning to leave elsewhere. James nodded and peered inside a bit before taking the liberty of closing Gerard's bedroom door.

Next chapter: That flu starts getting weirder.


	2. Special

Chapter Two: Special.

It was the day after. Frank and Ray were playing with the Xbox in the TV room and Mikey sat watching them, skimming through a magazine that had featured them recently. Gerard stepped in in his flannel pajamas. It was already afternoon, and he looked like he had just gotten out of bed, yet he didn't look like he had slept at all. His vibrant red hair was messy and matted, his eyes were bloodshot and his eye bags were particularly pronounced. He greeted them wearily.

"Hey.", they all greeted back simultaneously.

"You feeling better?", Frank asked.

"Yeah just had some food poisoning I guess." Gerard said as he sat down next to Mikey. Accepting the answer, they decided to change the subject to what they were all itching to talk about. Mikey went first.

"So what do you think of James, Gee?"

Gerard shifted uncomfortably, "Oh... I don't know. Didn't really get to talk to him. What did you guys think?"

"That guy is fucking awesome dude!", Frank chimed in.

"Yeah, he's fucking hilarious.", Mikey chuckled.

"He's really cool Gee, and he really knows his stuff. I think we're ready to invest in this guy if you're down. Plus the tour starts in like a couple of months, we need a manager like now.", Ray agreed.

Gerard couldn't find a reason to say no. Unless he told them the truth.

No, he couldn't do that.

"Alright. Set up a meeting, I guess."

"Sweet. I'm already seeing him tonight, I'll tell him then.", Mikey grinned.

"Dating him already Mikes?", Frank snickered.

"Shut up.", Mikey said defensively, although he didn't deny it. As Frank and a blushing Mikey continued to have a very immature spat about Mikey's "boner" for James, Ray only momentarily noticed Gerard had left before turning his attention back to the game.

Gerard was pacing back and forth by the front door. It was 1 AM and Mikey still hadn't come back from his hang out with James. He kept running his hand through his hair and he was slightly sweating. He kept peering out the window. Ray and Frank exchanged glances.

"Dude what the hell are you doing?", Frank finally asked.

"Mikey's not back." Gerard muttered.

"So? Its only 1.", Frank checked his watch."We usually stay out till like 4."

Gerard turned to him as though he were going to say something, opened his mouth slightly, only to shut it and continue pacing. Ray decided to step up to the plate, and he approached Gerard and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Are you feeling okay dude? You seem a little on edge lately."

Before Gerard could answer there was the sound of a door unlocking and Mikey and James stepped inside, both with goony grins on their faces. Gerard's stomach gave a lurch when he saw Mikey was wearing James coat.

"Dude what the hell?", Mikey said with a laugh, "Did I just get like 10 missed calls from you?", he pulled out his iPhone and the screen displayed that he indeed did have 12 missed calls from Gerard.

"Why didn't you answer any of them?", Gerard scowled.

"Um, we got kinda side tracked.", Mikey said, his grin growing wider. "Sorry 'bout that."

James cleared his throat and approached Gerard. "Gerard, we barely got to meet last time I saw you. Are you feeling better kiddo?" He tapped Gerard's arm slightly.

"Don't fucking touch me!", Gerard backed away into the wall, a disgusted expression on his face.

"Gerard!", Mikey scolded, "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Everyone was staring at him. Had the leader of their band gone insane? When it seemed as though Gerard wasn't going to answer, Mikey decided it would be best to take James elsewhere.

"C'mon, lets go to my room.", he nudged at James before throwing a dirty look Gerard's way, "Obviously my brother feels like being a rude asshole tonight."

They watched Mikey and James go silently, before a confused Frank turned on a pale Gerard.

"What the fuck is your problem dude?"

"I - I -", Gerard stuttered. "I still feel sick.", he blurted before trying to leave. Frank grabbed him before he could.

"No, you're talking to me. Why are you so sick all of sudden? Cause I'm pretty sure food poisoning can't just come on and off like that."

"Frank! Would you fuck off?", Gerard shoved Frank off him roughly and stormed off. Ray held Frank back from stopping him, muttering "Just leave it.".

Frank stared after him. What was the matter with him? Frank had never seen him so rude. Or, at least, not since the old days, back when he was hopped up on drugs.

Mikey and James were sitting at the desk in Gerard's bedroom. Currently, Mikey was rooming with Gerard during his stay there. Mikey was showing James the notebook he had been drawing sketches on. He wasn't nearly as good as Gerard of course, but he had always thought of himself of at least decent, and he wanted to do some outlines for his ideas for his and Gerard's comic book. He had drawn sketches of characters he had thought of, places he imagined. James was listening with extreme interest.

"These are really great Mikey!" James smiled as he flipped through the pages, taking in all the details. "You draw just like your brother, really."

Mikey was taken aback, "You've seen Gerard's drawings before?"

There was a long pause before James answered.

"Oh yeah... from the back pages of the Umbrella Academy."

"Oh, right.", Mikey laughed, "Forgot about those."

"Good book.", James nodded, "But you know what? From what you've been showing me now, I think you'd have a better hand at being a comic book writer than he is."

Mikey laughed harder, "Are you insane? Gerard's one of the best comic book writers' I've ever seen. I can even think of a few really famous ones that can't top him."

"See, that right there is your problem.", James went on, "Speaking just as an MCR fan, I can say that you underplay yourself way too much and throw way too much praise in Gerard's direction. Gerard's a great guy and all, but look at you! You're talented, you're funny, you've got killer looks, and you're incredibly strong. Gerard said himself in Life On The Murder Scene, you just don't know how special you are." James flicked a finger under Mikey's chin and grinned at him.

Mikey was red in the face. "I don't even know what to say, James."

"Then don't say anything.", James eyed the TV facing the bed. "Come, lets watch some Halloween before I have to leave."

"Sure!" Mikey enthusiastically popped in the movie before seating himself on the bed with James. James put his head on Mikey's shoulder. Mikey raised an eyebrow at that but didn't stop him. It was strange, he knew this boy so little and yet he felt an odd closeness to him. Like he was an old friend he had known all his life. Mikey allowed his head to drop slightly on top of James'. This felt nice. They watched the movie intently and burst out laughing at all the inappropriate times.

The volume was loud enough that it drowned out Gerard's frustrated sobs in the room just next to theirs.

Next chapter: Gerard tries to pull himself together.


	3. Grin And Bear It

Chapter Three: Grin And Bear It.

Gerard had just finished laying down some vocals for SING. He was sitting in the studio by himself, sipping at some coffee, taking a break when he heard the door open. Mikey walked in. Followed by James. This was awkward. They hadn't spoken at all since last night. Gerard decided to be the big man and step forward, taking into consideration the things he had decided the night before. He stood up, and Mikey eyed him apprehensively.

"Hey," Gerard said rather awkwardly, avoiding eye contact with either of them, his head slightly bowed, "Sorry about last night. I really just... I wasn't feeling very good..."

"Oh, its nothing." James was the first to say, "I understand you must be under a lot of stress lately, you poor thing." James ruffled Gerard's hair a bit, and Gerard tensed but didn't dare say anything.

"I was just showing James the studio, Gee.", Mikey chimed in, now seeming more comfortable to talk now that James seemed to have accepted his apology. But then he spoke the next part with hesitation."…As our manager it is really important for him see how we work."

"Oh, is he already?" Gerard placed a hand on his own hip and raised an eyebrow. Mikey raised an eyebrow back at him.

"Well not officially nooo... but I mean, we're kinda just waiting for your say - so dude. Everyone else already - "

"Mikey," James interrupted him, "You probably shouldn't do this now..."

"No, no...it's fine." Gerard sighed. He gave a small smile and extended a hand out to James. "Welcome aboard."

"Yes!", Mikey fist pumped as James took Gee's hand and shook it. James laughed and pulled Gerard into a very tense hug that Gerard tried to pull away from immediately. Gerard's heart was racing. This was the wrong choice, and deep down inside, he knew it.

But maybe things had changed?

"I'm having dinner with James."

"Again?"

Gerard looked at his younger brother with astonishment. It felt like the tenth time they had gone out in the same week. Really, it was just the third, but it felt like the tenth to Gerard. They were in Gee's bedroom and Mikey was already getting ready to go.

"Um, yeah, he invited me to some Red Lobster.", Mikey said as he combed through his hair.

"You're seeing that guy way too much.", Gerard huffed.

"And since when was there a limit to how much I can see someone?", Mikey retorted. Gerard fell silent. Assuming the discussion was over, Mikey got up to leave.

"Mikey, wait.", Gerard's voice stopped him before he was about to walk out the door.

"Yes, Gerard?" Mikey turned to look at his older brother, who was sitting on the bed, looking distressed.

"Please don't go."

"Give me a reason.", Mikey was getting frustrated.

Gerard hesitated, "I don't... I don't think you're safe with him."

Mikey sighed, agitated. "I meant a good reason. Why don't you think I'm safe with him?"

"I have a bad feeling about him."

"Well, you're wrong. I know him a lot better than you do, Gee."

"…Please. Just stay?", Gerard pleaded. Mikey didn't know what to do. Gerard was staring at him with desperate eyes. Yet, he gave no valid reason as to why Mikey shouldn't go out with James tonight, and Mikey had been particularly excited about tonight. Well, truth be told, he had been excited about every night he had spent with James. Making up his mind, he decided he'd just deal with Gerard later.

"No, sorry." Mikey said before turning and leaving.

"I want to come with you."

"What?"

Mikey turned around to look at his brother, confused. It was another day and another date with James. Mikey had had a stressful day at the studio trying to do touch ups on the song Party Poison, and he really needed to unwind. The last thing he needed was Gerard looking over his shoulder the whole time, especially the way he'd been acting lately.

"I wanna come with you tonight."

"Why?"

"There's nothing to do tonight, Frank and Ray are both going out tonight. I don't wanna be alone.", Gerard pouted.

"Are you going to act civilized this time?", Mikey asked scathingly.

Gerard gave a small smile, "I'll do my best."

Mikey rolled his eyes, but knowing that was the best answer he was going to get out of Gee, he agreed, "Alright, come on.", and they left to go meet James together.

They were going to an Italian place this time. Dinner was going well, although Gerard couldn't help but notice all the flirting James was doing with Mikey. It made him sick. He tried to concentrate on the ravioli dish he had in front of him, but it was to no avail. He could still hear Mikey laughing at all of James' jokes abnormally loud, or James complementing aspects of Mikey's outfit.

It was just like before.

"So, Gerard, loving the lyrics for Summertime.", James said out of nowhere.

"How did you even see those?", Gerard looked up in surprise.

"Mikey showed them to me." James said with what Gerard could swear was a smirk. Gerard glared at Mikey, and Mikey looked slightly abashed.

"They're about your wife, Lindsey…was that her name?", James continued on.

"Yeah, they are." Gerard confirmed, wondering where James was going with this.

"Aww well that's real sweet, I bet she's a doll. She's real pretty…"

Gerard raised an eyebrow at him.

"….but I don't know Gee, I always thought you kinda rushed into marriage with her, so soon after you broke up with that Eliza chick."

"Mmm, pretty opinionated on the relationships of people you don't know, aren't you James?", Gerard argued. Mikey shot him a warning glance. The tension at the table had just gotten ten times worse.

James laughed, "You have a point there, GeeGee but I think I know your type pretty well."

Gerard was getting pissed off, "Oh really? Tell me, James, what sort of fucked up delusion do you think is my type?"

"Gerard!", Mikey tried to silence his brother, but James was just as catty.

"You rush into things way too quick. Makes you easy to trap in a bad situation, kind of like a dumb animal. September 11 happens, bam, you wanna start a band. Got into a bad fall out with Bert, bam, you're dating Eliza, that doesn't work out and BAM, you're with Lindsey. And that's only naming a few incidents…", James grinned at Gerard with an almost challenging expression.

"And what the fuck are you?" Gerard hissed, "Taking Mikey out every single fucking night, don't think I don't know what you're doing."

"Mikey has good time with me, don't you Mikey?", James turned to Mikey who was at this point unsure of what to say. "Sounds like someone's just jealous that they don't have someone shadowing them anymore."

"What the fuck does that even mean?"

"It means I actually know how to treat Mikey like the fucking awesome dude he is, not like some sidekick who can't even talk during interviews because his diva of a brother can't shut up about himself!"

"Fuck you!" Gerard growled, "You're a fucking asshole. Let's get out of here, Mikey."

Gerard looked at Mikey expectedly and James looked at him curiously, both waiting for a reaction. Mikey crossed his arms and didn't move.

"Gerard… you said you'd behave…."

Gerard's jaw nearly dropped. He seemed to be trying to think of something to say, but instead just muttered a "Whatever.", said he was walking home, and left.

James was sitting in the kitchen of his quaint little home in Santa Monica. It was the morning after his night with Mikey and he was drinking some coffee in an attempt to cure his probing hangover. They had gotten quite tipsy the night before, and James was just contemplating on the fun they had when there was a knock at the door. James begrudgingly got up to get it, wonder who the fuck was visiting him at 8 AM. He opened the door and was surprised to see who was standing on his front porch.

"Gerard.", he said with alarm. "To what do I owe the pleasant surprise?"

"Cut the crap James. We need to talk.", Gerard mumbled before brushing past James, letting himself in. James sighed and closed the door behind them. He was going to need more coffee - this was going to be a difficult conversation.

Frank, Mikey, and Ray were having lunch. None of them knew where Gerard had gone to, which was no good as they had an interview at about 3 o' clock that day. It was already 1.

As they were digging through their sandwiches, Frank decided now was a good time as any to bring up something that had been bothering him in the past days.

"So, um, I think something's wrong with Gerard."

Ray nodded, "Yeah I think we've all kind of noticed that."

"Mmmm.", Mikey nodded and spoke with a mouth full of food, "Didn't he haff the flu or somefink like that?"

"The flu doesn't come on and off like that. There's like moments where he's perfectly fine and then he'll start freaking out of a sudden. It's kinda starting to freak me out."

Mikey, actually having swallowed his food before speaking this time, then asked, "Well Frank, what do you think it is then?"

"I don't know..", Frank picked at his food uncomfortably. "…but I don't have a good feeling about it."

Speak of the devil, Gerard arrived home from his visit to James at that moment, making sure to pull down his shirt as to hide the bruises already beginning to form.

Next chapter: Deceiving discoveries are made.


	4. Drawing Conclusions

Chapter Four: Drawing Conclusions.

Mikey played restlessly with his phone. James hadn't texted him at all lately - what was happening? They had been in contact non stop for the past couple of weeks, and all of a sudden, nothing? He had sent James' a few texts but he had gotten nothing back. God, this was unnerving. Mikey had been starting to get worried. He was at Gerard's house with nothing else to occupy his mind either, it was Ray's turn to be in the studio today. He tried watching a couple of movies. But they failed to distract him. Frank was busy catching up on some reading and didn't seem to want to be bothered. Gerard was barely talking to him, and the tension between him and his brother made him desperate to get out of the house even more. He wasn't really that upset at Gerard. He could admit James really had been a bit rude at dinner the other night, although he still believed Gee overreacted, he also felt a pang of guilt for not defending his brother. But Gerard would get over it eventually, right?

Finally, Mikey felt his phone vibrate. He looked down excitedly, and saw that it was a text from Alicia. He felt horrible at the fact that his heart dropped a little. Lately, he and Alicia had just been sort of growing apart. He wasn't sure who was becoming more distant - her or him. The girl he used to think of every other waking moment had now only crossed his mind twice a day at best, but it was nothing compared to how Alicia was acting. Mutual friends of theirs had constantly been telling him that she had been quite the social bee whenever he was away, flirting with other men at bars, and occasionally going home with them, to THEIR apartment. It had put him into a slight depression for a while, and he still felt his heart break a little every time he thought about it. It may have been partly why he was so attached to James. James made him forget. James was loving, kind, and relatable. Charming and funny. James made him feel special.

Around 10 pm that same night, there was a knock on the door. Mikey instantly went to go get it. He didn't really care who it was, he just was ready to jump at the first distraction on this, indeed, very uneventful day. To his shock, the door opened to reveal a very darkly clothed James.

"Dude where have you been?", Mikey asked.

"Around." James smiled at him.

"Why haven't you answered any of my texts?"

"I've been busy.", James said shortly.

"Oh...well come in." Mikey stepped aside to allow his friend entrance. James shook his head and fidgeted with something in his pocket.

"Actually, I just came for Gerard."

"Gerard?" Mikey was confused. Just then it seemed as though Gerard had suddenly materialized behind him. Mikey looked back and forth between him and James. Gerard looked somber.

"...Where are you guys going?", Mikey inquired.

"Just got to do some business stuff, real boring.", James nodded.

"At ten at night?"

"Was too busy during the day.", James had a hint of annoyance in his voice at this point.

"Well why don't I come with you?" Mikey ask, hopeful.

"Its not really any of your business, Mikes.", Gerard interjected this time.

"I'm part of the band too.", Mikey scowled. "I should know what's going on with it!"

"Dude, just leave it, it should go real quick anyway.", James said with a firm tone that said this conversation was over. He inclined his head to indicate for Gerard to follow him and Gerard brushed past a very bitter Mikey without another word. Mikey stood there for quite a while, confused and dumbfounded as to what had just happened. He didn't even notice Frank had been watching the exchange from the shadows as well.

Gerard didn't come home until 4 AM. When he walked in he was surprised to see everyone was awake huddled in the kitchen and talking in rather low, glum voices. They seem to be having a very intense conversation, as they hadn't even noticed him walking in at first. Gerard tried to creep quietly past them, just wanting to get to bed, but to his dismay, Frank finally noticed his arrival.

"Hey, you're home.", he said, and Mikey and Ray turned to look at him too.

Gerard nodded, trying to leave again, but this time Mikey was the one who stopped him. "Whats wrong with you?", he asked.

"What?" Gerard said rather snappily.

"You're limping." Mikey pointed out.

"Oh... nothing... I tripped.", Gerard tried sound non chalant.

"Why are you wearing sunglasses?" Ray asked this time.

"What is with all the fucking questions?" Gerard hissed.

"Well I don't know Gee, you randomly go off with James super fucking late, you come back in the wee hours of the morning, limping and wearing sun glasses for no fucking reason, how can we not at least kind of wonder if something is going on?", Mikey argued.

"Well what are you all doing up so late, hmm? Having a conference about me are we? I can't even imagine what you've been saying about me behind my back!", Gerard retorted.

"Remove your glasses, Gerard.", Frank said suddenly.

"What? Why?"

Frank moved from his spot and started walking over to Gerard, "Let's see your eyes, remove your glasses." Frank came closer to Gerard, who had started backing away. Frank reached up to pull Gee's glasses off his face.

"What the fuck? GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!", Gerard screamed and he punched Frank in his face with all his might, sending him flying backwards into the kitchen table. As Frank cradled his now bleeding nose, Gerard watched Mikey run to Frank's side. He turned to Gerard with a look of hatred on his face.

"THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?" His brother roared at him.

"Just fuck off, alright?" Gerard muttered before walking away as quickly as he could.

"FUCK YOU!" Mikey screamed after him.

As Ray helped Frank wiped the blood off his nose, Frank spoke, "Well I think that confirmed it then. Gerard's using again."

"I just don't understand.", Ray said, putting a splint on the bridge of Frank's nose, "Why would he? He has a family now."

"Guess we knew him less then we thought." Both Frank and Ray looked sympathetically at Mikey who was curled into ball in his chair, looking extremely confused and disappointed.

Meanwhile Gerard had run to the bathroom. He had spent a good five minutes vomiting into the toilet, his chest heaving and sweat dripping down his face. He was leaning against the cold basin of the toilet seat, trying to catch his breath. He got up with what little strength he had, his legs were still in an immense amount of pain. He went to the sink and looked at himself in the mirror. His hair was disheveled and his skin was paler than usual. He lifted a shaky hand to his glasses and removed them, revealing the swollen black eye underneath. After washing his face, he got out some of his make up and tried his best to cover it up before he went to bed.

In his room, Gerard laid awake for a couple of hours. He waited until he realized Mikey wasn't coming to their bed before he felt safe enough to cry himself to sleep.

Gerard Way was 17, wounded, but had at last found a place to go. His friend, Will's house. Will had been a good friend of his for many years, and Gerard knew he could trust him. Of course he was also HIS friend, but what other choice did Gerard have? Everyone else he knew lived with nosy parents who would just send Gerard back home. And this was the closest refuge he could find. Stumbling, he knocked on Will's door and he answered. Will was a slightly plump boy, with squished together eyes and a darker complexion.

"What the fuck happened to you?" Will eyed Gerard in alarm.

"Can I please just come inside?", Gerard pleaded, cradling a bleeding arm.

An hour later, Will and Gerard were sitting on Wills bed. Will was cradling Gerard in his arms, while Gerard sobbed into his shirt. Will was still confused as to what was happening, as Gerard really hadn't said anything since he came in. He could put two and two together though. He knew Gerard had hit rocky times with his boyfriend, James from school. He was James' friend as well, but James had turned into somewhat of an asshole as of lately. Since he began drinking, James had started hitting Gerard, had started steadily becoming more and more abusive. James had been calling Gerard fat and ugly, and Gerard's self esteem had plummeted as a result.

Will sighed and stroked his hand through Gerard's long raven hair as Gerard finally unburied himself from Will's chest.

"Did he hit you again?", he asked gently.

Gerard shook his head. That took Will by surprise. If not that, then what? He couldn't possibly think of how James couldn't have gotten any crueler to the boy than he already was.

"Well yes, but, that's not really it...it's just..." Gerard wouldn't make eye contact, and kept looking down. It seemed as though he was trying to hold back bursting into tears again in an effort to talk, but he wasn't doing a very good job at all. "..James...oh god...you can't tell Mikey..."

"I won't tell anyone Gee, I promise.

Gerard finally looked up at him. His heart broke at the anguish he could see in his friend's eyes.

"Gerard, what did he do to you?"

Next chapter: Will his trail of blood lead to the truth, or lead them astray?


	5. Face Down

Chapter Five: Face Down.

In the weeks to come, My Chemical Romance's schedule intensified 10 fold. The release of Danger Days was just on the horizon and James was particularly handy, and proved himself as a worthy manager indeed. There was possibly the least amount of scheduling mix ups they had ever had with an album release on their hands. Yet, things were incredibly difficult. Gerard had become more and more neurotic, and seemed to be pushing people away more and more as time went on. Frank, Mikey, and Ray had each tried at least once to talk to Gerard, and each time ended in an argument and Gerard asking them to fuck off. Things became incredibly tense within the band, and no one was sure what to do. At the moment all they knew was to smile and act like nothing was wrong in the face of the public, and go back to silence once they were alone. In the rush of the current events, they hadn't had time to do much else.

Yet Gerard continued to act stranger, and James kept taking him away at random times to do things. This was another thing that was making the band feel bitter. My Chemical Romance had always been a team – since when did only Gerard and their manager call all the shots? While in the end they had no say in whatever secrets Gerard was keeping, My Chem was pretty much their careers, and they sure as hell should have a say in what went on with that.

Gerard hadn't understood what Frank, Mikey, and Ray had been so upset about at first. It wasn't until the night Mikey had come to him to try and "talk" that Gerard realized they thought he was on drugs again. It hurt deeply that they would come to that conclusion. But he couldn't very well tell them the truth. So he stayed quiet, made it clear he wanted to talk about nothing at all. What hit the hardest was the night he came to his room to see Mikey had moved all of his stuff out and into the room where Frank was staying.

Mikey came out of the kitchen to find James sitting in the couch of their TV room. Seemed to be waiting for Gerard to finish getting ready. He looked back into the kitchen, and saw Frank observing the same thing. Frank nodded his assurance, knowing what Mikey wanted to do. Mikey approached James.

"Hey.", he said coldly.

James looked up from his phone to see Mikey hovering over him. "Hey there, Mikey. Looking good today.", James replied cheerily and slid over, indicating for Mikey to sit.

Mikey and James had hardly spoke as of recently. Partly due to the hurried schedule, but mostly due to the fact that whatever interest James had had in being Mikey's friend had seemed to all transfer to Gerard. And quite frankly, it was something that happened all too commonly. People would get acquainted with Mikey just in an effort to get to Gerard - the star of the band. The better Way. And Mikey was more sick of it than he realized.

Mikey sat down, not really sure what to say. He decided to get right to the point. In a low voice he hissed, "James, are you giving my brother drugs?"

Unexpectedly, James started to laugh.

"What the hell would make you think that?", James said through his chuckles.

"It was only after he started hanging out with you - he started acting weird. And you have been taking him out for these random midnight meetings. Excuse me if I'm a little suspicious.", Mikey raised an eyebrow.

James put a hand on Mikey's leg. Mikey felt something inside him flutter a little.

"Dude trust me - I would never- I wouldn't-" James began to stammer a bit. "Gerard is in good hands with me. I - "

Before James could speak any further, Gerard came in dressed in a dark attire. He was staring at the hand James had on Mikey's leg, a look of calm anger was upon his face. Mikey immediately got up and left the room without another word.

"You said you wouldn't touch him.", Gerard growled at James. They were in a hotel just a few blocks away from Gerard's house, sitting on the bed.

"Oh would you relax, he was just worried. I was trying to be reassuring.", James smirked.

"Worried? About what?", Gerard asked.

"None of your concern."

"I'm his brother, it's a lot more my concern that it is yours!" Gerard sneered.

"I'm sure if he wanted you to know, he would have told you."

That shut Gerard up. Rather, he started looking like he was about to cry. James smirk grew, he knew he had won the argument.

"Come now." James said, as he snaked an arm around Gerard's waist, and swept his hair behind his ear. He sniffed Gerard hungrily. "Forget all about Mikey. Pretty as he is, it's our time."

"You can't forget your end of our deal James.", Gerard breathed out.

"Mmm, never." James said before sucking into Gerard's neck, roving his tongue over its pale skin playfully. James moved his hand down to start unbuttoning Gerard's pants.

Gerard stared unblinkingly ahead, and held back tears as he felt the nausea returning again. He braced himself for what he knew what was about to come, hoping it would hurt a little less tonight.

"What did he do to you Gerard?"

17-year-old Gerard broke down a more times before saying it.

"I-I was virgin, Will…."

He said as he looked down at his lap again, his dark hair falling around his face.

"…he raped me….he fucking raped me…."

It was a day later and the mood could have not been any more opposite what it was the night before. All the recordings for the album were finally finished. Everyone was feeling in a celebratory mood. Even Frank had started to talk to Gerard like nothing had happened. Gerard supposed, as best friends, they couldn't be mad at each other at a time like this. They were holding a party at James' house, and James had gotten a huge stock of booze and alcohol just for the occasion. The music was blaring, but at barely 11 PM, James shut off the speakers momentarily to get everyone's attention.

James found a chair and stood up on the crowd a bit clumsily, seems he was already buzzed. A few people chuckled. He raised his shot glass of Captain Morgan, and everyone followed suit.

"A toast!", he yelled haughtily, "To the best album ever! By the best band ever!" A few cheers went around the room, before he continued. "To my good friends Mikey, Frank, Ray, and Gerard! Every fucking album, you each manage to prove how fucking amazing you are more and more! May this album be just yet ANOTHER step towards the peak of your potential, which from what I've observed, is still far off into the horizon! May you know no boundaries! Cheers!"

James drank down his shot amongst the applauding and cheering of others, before they drank their own drinks as well. James then allowed the music to continue, and skipped a few tracks to Ke$ha's Tik Tok as a joke. Laughs went throughout the crowd, yet they got into it well enough.

People were dancing all around, and Gerard was politely turning down what felt like the 438th girl that night when Frank stumbled over to him.

"GeeGee!", he exclaimed merrily before swinging an arm around him. Gerard laughed at the drunken state of his friend.

"C'mon! Let's dance!", Frank said, grabbing him by the arm pulling Gerard into a wider part of the room.

"Wha-?", Gerard said confusedly. Next thing he knew he was being swept away by Frank who was doing a series of ridiculous dance moves on Gerard. Gerard found it hilarious. Everyone else did too. Gerard looked around and saw that everyone was watching them, egging them on. The showman in him came out and he played along with it, inducing plenty of catcalls and laughs. Gerard was laughing along with them as Frank straddled him. He hadn't felt this good in a long time. He wrapped his arms around Frank and they both lost their balance, Gerard falling on top of him. They both laughed and Frank kissed Gee on the cheek.

Eventually Frank separated from Gerard and went to go get more drink. He was sobering down, and that was no good. As he passed a room, he could see Ray amongst another group of people drinking through a beer funnel. The group around him was chanting the classic "CHUG! CHUG!" chant. Frank chuckled. Ray was a pro at that. Eventually he got to the booze stash and was going through the selection when he noticed something red on his hand. He turned it around and saw his palm was covered in blood. He froze. What had he had touched that would be bleeding? Feeling strangely nervous, he refilled his glass and went back to ask Gerard about it, but he was gone.

Next chapter: Gerard goes through some drastic physical changes. Frank doesn't understand.


	6. When Did This Storm Begin

A/N: Just like I did with Heaven Help Us for my last story, I'm titling this chapter after the song that inspired this story. Just as an FYI, it's by the Shiny Toy Guns, not MCR. ALSO, this chapter may be on the NSFW side. Just in case.

Chapter Six: When Did This Storm Begin?

Gerard barricaded himself in the bathroom where he was hastily applying as much gauze as he could on the bleeding gash on his side. Shit, shit, shit! He fumbled nervously, his fingers covered in his own blood. Finally, the wound was securely covered and blood was no longer gushing out. He took deep calming breaths and sat down on the bathroom floor, curling himself into a ball. He was shirtless, having removed his top so it wouldn't inconvenience him as he tried to remedy the situation. He wondered if anyone had seen. He had taken an effort to wear plenty of black lately as to avoid such a predicament. You couldn't easily see blood through black clothing. And if anyone found out, James would kill him. And Mikey. He had said so. Gerard felt dizzy at the thought.

After he felt the panic subside, he looked down at himself. He had avoided looking at his own body as of lately, and now that he was seeing it, he remembered why. It was an extremely grotesque sight; his already ugly, misshapen form had become disfigured with scars and bruises from his nights with James. All the diet and exercise had been for nothing - he was uglier than he had ever been.

The party was still raging outside, and he knew he only had a short amount of time before someone came looking for him, or wanted to use this bathroom. So Gerard pulled his shirt back on and decided to have a quick vomit into the toilet - its what he knew would make him feel better. He then got up to open the door, and behind it stood an impatient, drunk seeming Mikey.

Mikey got up real close to him and then recoiled in disgust. "You smell like vomit. What were you doing in there?"

"Really Mikes? I really have to tell you what people do in bathrooms?"

"Hey, don't sass me. You were taking awfully long time in there." Mikey eyed Gerard over suspiciously, as though looking for a bag of cocaine sticking out somewhere.

"I was having some stomach problems. God.", Gerard rolled his eyes and strutted away from Mikey as quickly as possible. He had felt horribly uneasy with Mikey eyeing him so intently.

Frank woke up suddenly. What the fuck happened? He checked the clock and it was 4:40 AM. He must have blacked out sometime during the party. He looked over and saw Mikey sound asleep on the floor next to him. Suddenly, he felt the urge to pee. Groggily, he pushed himself out of bed and tip toed out of his room.

After a trip to the bathroom he noticed Gerard's bedroom door was slightly ajar. He remembered the blood he had found on his hand earlier. Worried about his friend, he decided to see if Gerard was awake. He walked in and suddenly it was raining. Not only outside, but inside the room as well. For some reason, Frank accepted this as a perfectly normal occurrence. The floor was flooding with water.

Frank crept over slowly to Gerard' bedside. Gerard was laid on his back. He seemed to be in a very peaceful slumber. But as Frank came closer, he noticed something weird. There was a black spot where the white blanket covered him. Then a flash of lighting illuminated the room. And the black spot increased in size. Suddenly the blackness consumed the whole blanket, it was pouring like the rain, onto the floor. Another flash of lighting came upon them and thunder was heard looming overhead. In a moment of horror, Frank realized it was blood. Gerard's blood. Blood was everywhere on the bed. It was pouring out of the sheets, mixing with the water of the rain. Panicking, a soaked Frank rushed to wake Gerard up. He had to, or he would drown.

"Gerard!", he screamed, "GERARD!"

"FRANK!", someone shouted.

Frank woke up hyperventilating. He looked over and Mikey was next to him, evidently having tried to shake him awake. Mikey was looking at him as though he were insane.

"Sorry." Frank finally mumbled. "Bad dream."

"Involving Gee?"

"Yeah, I um… don't really remember the details too well." Frank lied. For some reason, he didn't feel all that comfortable telling Mikey what he had seen. "Go back to sleep. Sorry I woke you."

Mikey took one last look at Frank and nodded, retreating back to his spot on the floor. Frank lay awake for a while afterwards, just staring at the ceiling. The nightmare had left quite a disturbing impression into his mind. After he was sure Mikey was asleep, and after about 40 minutes of not being able to get back to sleep, Frank decided to go check on Gerard.

He crept quietly to Gee's room. His heart jumped when he saw that the room was slightly ajar, just like it had been in his dream. Hesitantly, he pushed it open and looked inside.

But there was no one in there.

Gerard was vomiting into the toilet for what felt like the 10th time that night. James was standing over him smugly. Gerard was trying his hardest to get as much out as he could, but he had only eaten so much that day. James hadn't wanted him eating very much lately. Because he was fat. He had convinced Gerard that this wasn't just for him, it was for the image of the band. How was Danger Days supposed to sell with a fat lead singer in the magazine covers? They were in a different hotel this time, still only a little ways from the house. That's the good thing about living in Los Angeles. Lots of hotels around.

"Please…" Gerard gasped after he tried retching into the toilet again, "…theres nothing left to puke out…" He looked up at James with pleading eyes.

"Hmm." James yanked Gerard violently up by his arm, pinned him against the tiled wall, and put his hand to Gerard's throat. He sized him up and licked his lips. "Well you look fuckable enough."

"What?", Gerard squeaked, "But we just…"

James smirked, "I'm feeling energetic tonight." He reached behind Gerard's head and grabbed a handful of his hair, and pulled him painfully to the bed, ignoring his whimpers, throwing him onto the mattress.

He stripped Gerard of his clothes hurriedly, and then removed his own pants. His cock was erect and ready and he shoved it into Gerard's unprepared mouth, having forced the bottom half of his jaw open with his hand. He thrust into his mouth, and Gee swore he could feel the corners of his lips being split open with the sheer force of it. He felt bile rising to his throat. Not really at the disgust of having James' cock being shoved into his mouth, but he had induced vomiting so much in the past weeks that really putting much of anything in his mouth made him nauseated, and James with a rather large man. James was pushing into his mouth ruthlessly, moaning in pleasure. Gerard was hitting his James in the leg repeatedly, trying to get him to release him, if only for a moment. Finally, James pulled out and immediately, Gerard blew chunks all over the bed. James just laughed.

Not seeming to care about the vomit, James forced Gerard to turn over into it, and shoved some fingers into his entrance, moving them around inside him as to prepare him. Gerard squealed from the pain. Not being able to resist any longer, James shoved his cock into Gerard's anus, and proceeded to fuck him. While this was always a painful process, as James never seemed fond of lubrication, it was especially painful at the moment as they had just fucked hours ago and Gerard was already incredibly sore. He screamed as James pushed into him. James smirked at the blood that was already starting to pour out from the penetration - Gerard bled easily. James always liked that about him.

He ran his hands over Gerard's blood covered legs, and he grabbed Gerard by the hair again, yanking him upward, and put them both into a sitting position, where Gerard was sitting on top of him. He smeared the blood his hands had picked up from his legs all over Gerard's chest, leaving hand shaped blood prints.

"Mmmmm…" James moaned, "Look at me, I'm a vampire…" He laughed and then bit as hard is he could into Gerard's shoulder. Gerard yelped and more blood poured out, as James reached down and played hungrily with his cock.

He threw Gerard back on the bed, this time lying on his back, his legs upward. Gerard always hated this position, as it always had him feeling like his insides were being pushed together. James reached for the pocket knife he had placed at the side of the bed. Gerard started crying out of panic. James, now seeming actually bored, went about making deep cuts into Gerard's legs. Gerard tried not to look. Drenched his own tears, vomit, and blood, he tried to think of other things as James ripped into him with his cock and his blade. He turned his head to the side and looked outside the window. A flash of light appeared. There was a thunderstorm outside.

Frank woke up the next morning at about 9 AM. He had finally managed to get some sleep after that dream, but not a whole lot. He saw Mikey was still asleep. He left the room quite as he could. Deciding to go make coffee, he saw Gerard sitting at the kitchen table, coffee mug already in hand. He looked tired and gaunt - Frank could swear he saw his cheekbones sticking out weirdly. Why hadn't he noticed this before? He wondered what would cause Gerard to lose weight. And then he remembered - oh right, drugs would do that to you. He sighed. Gerard looked up at him but didn't say anything.

"Morning." Frank said as he set about making his own mug, trying to break the awkward silence.

"Morning." Gerard mumbled back.

"Some party last night, huh?"

Gerard chuckled, "Yeah, some party. You were fucking wasted."

"Don't act like you weren't off having a good time too.", Frank stirred in his crème and sugar, "I looked in your room, you didn't come back till late last night."

"What were you doing looking into my room?" Gerard questioned.

Frank mentally kicked himself. Dammit. Having made his cup of coffee, he sat down next to Gerard and sighed.

"I'm worried about you dude."

Gerard raised an eyebrow. He hadn't expected that.

'You should tell him…', Gerard's inner voice spoke to him, '…he's your best friend. He'd protect you.'

"Gerard?", Frank prodded. Gee seemed like he had zoned out for a bit.

Gerard smiled at him, "I'm fine, Frank."

He didn't want to risk putting Frank in danger.

"Are you really?", Frank went on. "After you and I danced last night, I kinda noticed there was blood on my hand. Are you bleeding anywhere Gerard?"

"No." Gerard gave him a weird look. "I have no idea what you'd be talking about."

"Are you sure? Because I can't really think as to what else the source of that could have been."

"I don't know dude." Gerard grinned, "You were pretty drunk. Can you really say you were sure of ANYTHING that happened last night?"

Frank eyed him suspiciously. "Alright, you have a point. But promise me that whatevers going on with you right now, if you need help, you'll let me know?"

Gerard took another sip of his coffee.

"Sure, Frank."

Next chapter: Gerard has more talks with Frank – but will he come clean?


	7. One Step Forward

A/N: Woah. Thanks for all the reviews you guys. I really do appreciate them. Anyway, I have a doozy of a chapter for you. I may not update for a bit after this, as I haven't worked out how to quite write the chapter after this one. But that should be a clue to you that good things will be happening. ;)

Chapter Seven: One Step Forward, Two Steps Back.

"Gerard, you haven't eaten all day."

Mikey glared at his brother. They were having a last meal at a dingy diner before doing their first show in months. Pressure and tension was running high, and Mikey, Ray, and Frank were all nervous about the increasingly frail state of their singer. Gerard looked absolutely skeletal.

"I'm not hungry." Gerard muttered and he picked at his salad dish with a fork.

"Gerard, eat something right now before I shove it down your throat!", Mikey barked.

"Hey hey hey!", Ray chimed in, "No need to get aggressive, alright? Gerard, you can just eat after the show. But PLEASE, just eat SOMETHING, yeah?"

Gerard nodded and Mikey crossed his arms and huffed in frustration. Frank watched the exchange quietly. He really couldn't blame Mikey for being angry. Frank knew Mikey was just worried about Gerard, and didn't really know how to handle the situation without yelling. Hell, HE was worried about Gerard. They all were. Not just because he was their singer, but because it was always devastating watching someone you love fall apart right before your eyes.

They were getting ready for the show. Gerard was at his mirror, making sure to cover up any bruises and scars that could be exposed during the show. It wasn't hard - James was always careful not to leave any marks on his face or arms, lest anyone notice them. Once he was finally good and covered, he checked the time. It was still early. He looked around at his assortment of make-up kits and found his black Sharpie marker. He hadn't written on himself yet as he usually did. After a while of thinking, he decided to do what he always did and just write how he felt. In big letters, he wrote the word 'UGLY' on his right arm. He cradled the arm and stared at the word for a while. He fought tears that threatened to fall.

"5 minutes till curtain!", he heard someone shout. Gerard sighed and went to the bathroom, having a quick vomit before he headed over to stand near the stage entrance. Frank was already there, drinking from a water bottle.

"Hey!", Frank greeted cheerily. Gerard knew he must be excited to get on stage again, even if tonight was just a one-off show to promote the new songs.

"Hey.", Gerard smiled at him, "You excited?"

"Hell yeah I am. Fucking Ray wa- what is this?" Frank grabbed Gerard's arm and traced his fingers over the word he had written on it, the goofy grin he had just had now vanished. Gerard said nothing. Frank looked up at him.

"Explain yourself."

Gerard just offered him a small smile and said, "I don't know. Guess I just don't feel very pretty anymore."

"That is the biggest load of bullshit I have ever heard in my life!", Frank almost laughed. "Hold on." He said, and suddenly he went off back in direction of the dressing room.

"Frank, where are you going?", Gerard tried to call after him, "You're going to miss-"

But almost as soon as he had left, Frank came darting back, Gerard's sharpie marker in hand. He grabbed Gerard's arm and quickly scribbled out the word. Then he got up real close to Gerard, to where their noses were nearly touching. Gerard could feel Frank's breath, warm on his face. Gerard froze, his heart beating a million miles per second. Frank lifted a hand to Gerard's chin and caressed it, and it was like time just stopped. What was he doing? Finally Frank used the hand he had on Gee's chin and tilted his head upward, and Gerard could feel Frank pressing his marker against the skin of his neck. Finally, Frank stepped back.

"Much better. See?", he said as he handed Gerard a hand mirror he had picked up. Gerard looked into it and traced his fingers over what Frank had written. It read 'BEAUTIFUL'. Gerard could have cried. For just that moment, he felt a bit of his old strength returning. As he put down the mirror, Frank got close to him again. He put a hand on one side of Gerard's face.

"You're beautiful, Gerard. Don't ever let anything or anyone tell you otherwise."

They were currently playing Teenagers. Gerard figured had been doing well so far, but exhaustion had started to overcome him. He was dizzy. He tried to drink as much water as he could, but it wasn't helping. He didn't even think he could hear himself sing anymore. He saw Mikey looking at him worriedly. He saw the audience staring at him. Judging him. Seeing and observing his horrid misshapen-ness. His thigh started to hurt. He realized his pants must have been rubbing up against one of his wounds a bit too much. He tried to ignore it. He looked over to the side of the stage, and he saw James staring at him. He suddenly felt a thousand times more self-conscious than he already did. He stumbled around the stage trying to cover it up, and the pain in his thigh only increased until it was at the point of being unbearable. He could feel the blood running down his leg. Another wave of dizziness hit him, and suddenly the ground got closer, and he felt himself hitting it hard. It took himself a while to realize he must have fallen. People were laughing. He tried to get up but he couldn't bring himself to - his leg hurt too much. Gerard felt like a trapped, injured, obese animal that someone had put on display.

Eventually realizing he needed assistance, Mikey ran over and helped Gee up. Gerard did his best to continue on like nothing happened, but Mikey didn't know who he thought he was fooling. He wasn't sure if Gerard realized it, but Gerard was doing terrible tonight. And everyone knew it. He singing was off key, his movements were awkward and strained. Quite frankly – he seemed like he was in pain. He had looked over at his other band members, who had expressions that told him they were thinking the same thing. So much for their big comeback. Mikey knew the band had tried to respect what Gerard did behind closed doors, and he figured it was because they trusted him to at least not let it show in public appearances. Gerard had always loved his fans, they had thought he wouldn't do anything to disappoint them. He guessed they were wrong.

It was time they put their foot down about this drug use thing, once and for all - even if it meant hurting Gerard for now.

"Gerard, we need to talk."

Mikey, Frank, Ray, and James were all seated on a coach in the backstage area. They appear to have been waiting for him. Gerard wondered what they had been saying about him before he got there.

"Okay…", Gerard urged them to continue.

James cleared his throat, "Gerard, your drug use is really starting to affect the band."

Gerard's blood boiled. How dare he? He glared at James and James gave him a challenging look back, as though to say "Try me."

"Dude, you sucked tonight." Mikey interrupted the glaring death match.

Gerard shook his head. "I'm feeling a little under the weather."

"You keep saying that!", Mikey yelled exasperatedly. "How fucking stupid do you think we are? Can't you at least try to come up with different excuses, and NOT insult our intelligence?"

"Mikey…", Gerard muttered, not really sure with what he intended to follow that with.

"No! You know what? I'm fucking done with this band unless you decide to stop acting like a fucking 21 year old, sneaking around and doing drugs!", Mikey shrieked and made to storm off.

"NO!" Gerard screamed, and Mikey stopped. Gerard was holding back tears again, and it was the hurt in his voice that rooted Mikey where he stood, at least long enough to hear what he had to say.

"Wait…." Gerard pleaded, "Please don't…..I'm not…. I'm not doing drugs… I…."

"Then what's going on Gerard?", Frank asked gently.

Gerard looked at James, whose expression was unreadable. And he looked at Mikey, whose expression had turned into one of annoyance. James' threat echoed in his mind:

'Tell anyone…anyone at all…and I'll not only kill you, but I'll go after Mikey too. And I'll tell him all the ways I fucked you while I fuck him before I slice his pretty little neck open…. you know I can do it….'

Gerard, who had had his mouth open in an effort to speak, closed it suddenly, and hung his head in defeat.

"I fucking knew it." Mikey muttered before storming off. There was a moment of silence before Ray followed suit, and Frank did as well, but not without one last worried glance at Gerard.

On the way home, no one had spoken. So once they actually got home, they were all extremely glad to be. James said his farewell to everyone and drove home and Mikey and Ray went to bed immediately. This left Frank and Gerard alone together.

Gerard dashed to make himself a cup of coffee. It was just what he needed during a horrible ordeal like this. To his surprise, Frank followed him.

"Something you wanna talk about?" Frank asked as they both sat down with their mugs.

"No. Nothing.", Gerard tried to keep it short. He hated lying to his best friends.

"Look I'm not saying I agree with Mikey about everything, but he is right about one thing - you're really insulting everyone's intelligence by assuming we'll believe you every time you say you're fine. Actions speak a lot louder than words, Gee. And your actions have been screaming that there's something up."

Gerard sighed, "I don't care if you believe me. I just want everyone to leave me alone. Lay off."

Suddenly Frank laughed. Gerard raised an eyebrow at him.

"That's not going to happen." Frank said bluntly.

"And why not?", Gerard asked.

"We love you way too much."

Gerard stared.

"Don't you understand?" Frank continued on, "You're just so important to us! Not just as our singer but as our best friend, or for Mikey, as an older brother! We don't want anything to happen to you! We don't want to repeat the same mistake we made last time you got all hopped up on drugs and have it go by unnoticed! We'll do anything to help you, Gerard, even if it means not being a band anymore. That's why Mikey did what he did earlier. He doesn't care about the band anymore. He just wants his big brother back."

Gerard blinked back tears. "He's mad at me…", he whispered.

"Well, yeah Gerard, we all are a little bit…", Frank said hesitantly. "…but only because we're just a little disappointed is all…"

This was too much.

"I'm not doing drugs, Frank."

"Gerard…"

"No, I'm serious." Gerard stopped wiping at his eyes and looked Frank in the face, unblinkingly. "I haven't done any drugs at all. I haven't done a single drug since I was 29. I'm. Not. On. Drugs. I swear it."

"Well then, for the thousandth time Gerard – WHAT is going on with you?"

Gerard looked down again. He realized he hadn't exactly thought this through.

"I can't tell you Frank."

"Why not? Gerard, if there's something putting you in danger…"

"I just can't… okay, maybe later, but I can't tell you right now. I – I have it handled. I got this. Just please, as my best friend, please believe me - I haven't been doing drugs."

Frank's eyes grew wide.

"You really haven't?"

"No. I promise."

Frank smiled, "I knew I knew you better than that."

Suddenly he jumped over on Gerard's lap and pulled him into a tight embrace, which Gee returned happily.

"I'll talk to Mikey in the morning." Frank told Gerard.

"Okay…" Gerard nodded. Well, it was a step forward.

Eventually, Frank went to bed. And an exhausted Gerard was ready to go to sleep as well when his iPhone vibrated. He looked at it and saw a text from James:

'I'm still here. Parked across the street. Meet me there.'

"You almost blew our fucking cover you little shit!"

James dealt another blow to Gerard's chest. James had spent the last thirty minutes kicking a currently shirtless Gerard repeatedly in every area he could reach. Another lower blow. Gerard screamed.

"Fuck, James, I think a rib just broke! Please! Stop!", he sobbed.

"Fuck you!" James yelled back and continued to kick at him. Gerard tried to curl into a ball to shield himself, but it didn't help much. He was sitting in the corner of yet another motel room, while a very angry James had been giving him quite the beating.

Suddenly, James stopped kicking at him and grabbed him by the hair, pulling him onto the bed.

"Someone's been a bad boy. Bad boys deserve to be punished." James smirked. He reached for something on the nightstand. Gerard realized with horror that it was his curling iron.

"Yeah I picked this baby up while you were picking your beauty supplies out for the show tonight. Been heating up this whole time. It goes up to what 450 degrees? I don't know," he said almost nonchalantly, "I just set it to the max. Oh, and by the way, I left your band a little surprise of a present in the bathroom before I left."

"What?" Gerard questioned apprehensively.

"Oh, you shouldn't worry about it now, I'm sure you'll find out in the morning." James said as he gently unfolded both of his arms that had been crossed around Gerard's already beaten body. Gee was trembling. James laughed as Gerard made his fear more and more evident.

And without any more warning, James started beating Gerard's chest stomach with a 450 degree stick of metal.

Gerard screamed uncontrollably, gripping at the sheets from the pain. The burning sensation was overwhelming. He knew some of these scars were never going to heal. He would carry them with him forever, as a reminder. His skin would become more shriveled and ugly than it already was.

James continued to roll the piping hot curling iron all over Gerard. At some point he stopped and eyed the curling iron with interest. "This is actually pretty thin. I wonder….", he mumbled to himself. Evidently wanting to satisfy his curiosity, he put down the curling iron and took off Gerard's pants. Even Gerard couldn't see where he was going with this. Smirking, James made Gerard turn over and fingered at his entrance a bit. Normally, this would be rather painful, but considering the fact that Gerard was now burned all over and quite possibly had a broken rib, he was almost a little numb.

James laughed again and he took the curling iron back into his hand. Removing his other hand from the inside of Gerard's anus, he grabbed one of Gerard's buttocks and pulled it aside as far as it would go. Then, he took the 450 degree hot curling iron, and shoved it hard into Gerard's entrance, hammered it in, pushing it as deep as it would go.

Gerard let out an ear shattering scream, and then finally, passed out from the pain.

Gerard opened his eyes. Daylight was pouring in through the window. He looked around and he was back in his room. Had it been a dream? He moved a bit and felt an extreme amount of pain wash over him. Guess not.

He lay in bed for what felt like the next few hours, as he couldn't seem to find the strength or willingness to move. He was hoping for Frank to come find him. He remembered Frank saying something about talking to Mikey. Maybe this could be it. Maybe this could be when he could finally tell them. He wanted to, he wanted to oh so badly.

Sure enough, he eventually heard Frank's voice down the hall. He couldn't hear what he was saying, but he heard footsteps coming closer. The door swung open. Gerard made to greet his friend, but he didn't get the chance to.

"THE FUCK IS THIS?" Frank yelled. He then threw something at Gerard, a bag of some sort. Gerard picked it up and saw that it was indeed a baggie of cocaine. Fuck.

"Frank, I - "

"No, fuck your excuses! It was one thing for you to be fucking using again, but deliberately look me in the fucking face and lie to me like that?"

Gerard had started to cry again, "No please, Frank this isn't mine!"

"Oh and I suppose its Ray's, or Mikey's, or mine? I found it in OUR bathroom! Fuck you Gerard, I'm fucking done trying to help you."

Frank shook his head before leaving and slamming the door behind him. Gerard spent the next few hours sobbing hysterically, his physical pain being completely forgotten in favor of Frank's far more hurtful words.

Next chapter: Feeling more alone than ever, Gerard is ready to give up the will to fight. But the possibility of hope finds him at last.


	8. Breaks And Seperations

Chapter Eight: Breaks And Separations.

"It is our deepest regret to inform you that as of this week, My Chemical Romance is taking a break for an undetermined period of time due to some personal problems with one member. We know many of you have bought tickets for The World Contamination Tour, and tickets should be refunded immediately. The tour will still happen, but at the moment it is unsure as to when. We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused. Thank you for your patience during this difficult time."

Frank sighed and posted the message on the official My Chemical Romance website, knowing that many people would not be very patient about this at all. He hated upsetting his fans, they all did. But what could they do? Gerard had reached a point where he wouldn't even leave his bed. And Frank sure as hell wasn't about to go apologize for being lied to. He watched as Mikey delivered food to Gerard's room. Gerard seemed to be bedridden. They weren't sure quite as to why, it was perhaps because they had taken away his only stash. They searched every nook and cranny of the house for more, but they hadn't found anymore drugs lying about. Frank figured he must be going through withdrawal. He almost felt guilty.

Mikey carried a tray of lunch down the hall, which he knew Gerard was never going to eat. He sighed before he opened Gee's door. Gerard was lying there, in the same position he had been since he last checked on him. His eyes looked spaced out and glazed over. It had been over 24 hours and Gerard hadn't left his room, or his bed. Mikey feared he had sunken into depression once again. Yes, he was still angry with him. But the sight of Gerard looking so defeated, whatever the cause, still broke his heart. They had tried to call Lindsay to ask if she would leave the tour for a while to come back home with Bandit. She had said no; that they were too busy. Mikey couldn't help but feel angry at her over that. He put the tray silently on the nightstand. Making up his mind, he bent over Gerard and gave him a kiss on his forehead, running a hand through his long, now greasy red hair.

"I still love you, Gee.", he said softly.

Gerard said nothing. Mikey wondered if he even heard him. Deciding to leave it at that, Mikey left the room, closing the door behind him gently.

Once out the door, Mikey felt tears welling up in his eyes. What was happening to his brother? How long was he going to be like this? Oh god, what if he stays like this forever? While he knew that last one was a bit ridiculous, considering his past experiences with Gerard's depression spells, he still felt a panic slowly creep through his skin. He dashed to his and Frank's room and went to go calm himself. He tried to take a few deep breaths. Once he felt he could think clearly again. He took out his cell phone and debated. Fuck it, he needed to go out, or he would go crazy. He scrolled through his contacts and called James.

Later that night, Mikey and James could be found at James' house. He hadn't told Gerard where he was going, as he didn't think it would elicit a positive response out of Gerard anyway. Mikey to this day could not understand Gerard's strange distaste for James. He was such great company whenever he WAS around.

They had just gotten back from dinner, and Mikey was a little buzzed from his margarita. James hadn't had any, as he was driving, but now that they were back at his place, he was already downing a sour whiskey eagerly. James decided it would be a good idea to pop in a movie. They chose Rob Zombie's Halloween and sat on the floor in front of James' very large HD TV.

While they both sat watching the movie, sharing a bowl of microwave popcorn, they still chatted about other things. Both of them had seen the film many times over anyway. James had poured Mikey some sour whiskey for himself, and they both were pretty drunk halfway through the flick. Suddenly, there became a lull in the conversation. Mikey stared onto the screen as the one he identified as "that really annoying chick" yammered on to her mother. Suddenly, he felt James' hand gently grip his shoulder. His stomach did a little flip. He turned to look at James. James was looking directly at him. At this moment, both he and James took a good 30 seconds just admiring how attractive the other person was, with their features emphasized by the light of the television screen. Then, slowly, James leaned in and kissed Mikey.

Mikey returned the kiss, and James leaned into him further. Eventually, Mikey was lain down on the carpet floor, pinned by James who was exploring Mikey's mouth hungrily. Mikey felt James get hard on his leg, and he began growing erect himself.

"No!", Mikey snapped, and he gently pushed James away. James rolled off him.

"Whats wrong?" James asked.

Mikey buried his face in his hands. "I'm sorry. Its just - things are really complicated right now.", he looked up to face James, "I just - I just don't think this would be the right time for something like this.", he sighed, "Actually, I've been meaning to talk to you about something."

"Go on.", James encouraged gently, sitting up right.

"Our bands a mess. Gerard's obviously in a rut -"

"He's a drug addict. Its what he does.", James interrupted.

"Well whatever he is," Mikey said with a hint of a slightly defensive tone, "He's still my brother. And I love him. And he needs help right now. But I don't know how long that will take. So, um, I've been thinking it might be best if you looked for other work right now..."

"Woah, woah , woah! Are you firing me?"

"Kinda yeah." Mikey grimaced but then tried to redeem the situation, "But you've been great! Its kinda one of those situations where its not you, its us?"

Mikey even winced at how cliché that sounded.

"I don't know what to say Mikey..." James was now avoiding Mikey's gaze.

"Well it's not goodbye forever, I mean - when things pick up again, I PROMISE you'll be the first one we'll call. And you and I can still be friends! And maybe after we get Gerard through this rough patch, he'll feel like being a little less rude, and you guys can be friends too!"

James almost smiled. Mikey's naivety was very cute.

"Of course Mikes."

"So, friends?" Mikey looked at him hopefully.

James eyed him.

You know, he could take him now.

It was nearly 5 AM, no one would come to save him.

James thought it over.

Nah, he'll just take the other one.

"Friends." James smiled and gave Mikey a friendly pat on the back.

The night came and went, and so did the morning after. Mikey had gone home and broke the news of what he did to Frank and Ray, both of whom took it surprisingly well. They all seemed to agree that it was for the best at the moment. Frank and Ray were going to go out to do some errands that day, and Mikey was to hang out with a couple of good friends in the area, now that he finally had the time. So Mikey decided to bring a few extra snacks to Gerard's room along with his lunch since they all would be gone for the day. Not that his eating had improved at all, but Mikey was still hopeful.

When he went over, he was pleased to see that Gerard at least was in a slightly different position than usual. He laid down the tray and braved an attempt.

"Hey, um, I'm going out with Andrew and Adam today. You wanna come?"

Gerard didn't even glance in his direction. Mikey sighed.

"Okay well, I thought you might like to know that I fired James last night. I thought it would be best since the band was on a break, while you get through….whatever this is."

Gerard's eyes grew rather large at that, but he still stayed silent. Mikey stayed and waited for a bit more of a response than that, but realized he wasn't getting one. Taking another deep sigh, Mikey turned to leave the room.

"Mikey."

Mikey whipped around, hardly daring to believe it. Sure enough, Gerard was facing him, looking directly at him.

"Yeah, Gerard?"

"I'm scared."

It came out barely a whisper, but Mikey still heard it. He frowned.

"Gee, you know I'll always be here for you. I'll love you no matter what you do. But I really hope this'll be a lesson to you. You brought this upon yourself."

Gerard didn't say anything else after that. Mikey mentally kicked himself. Maybe that wasn't the best thing to say. But instead of trying to redeem it, Mikey found himself leaving the room without even a "bye". He just wanted to get out of the house again. God, he was such a coward.

So much for being there.

It was 7 pm and Mikey was about to be on his way home. He had spent a lovely day with his friends catching up, although things had gotten awkward when they asked about Gerard. He just told them he had been under the weather lately. He was getting in his car when he decided to give James a ring, see if he was doing anything. He could swing by now that he was already out and about. Not that he was avoiding going home, or anything like that. No answer. He called twice more. Both times it rang very shortly, like James had hung up on his call. That was weird.

He was about to call one more time until he noticed Frank was trying to get through. He answered. 

"Hello?"

"Hello? Mikey?" came Frank's voice through the other line. Mikey was alarmed, Frank sounded like he was speaking through sobs.

"Yeah, Frank, what's wrong?"

"Gerard...Gerard's missing... we can't find Gerard!"

"Okay, calm down." Mikey tried to assure his hysterical sounding friend, although panic had begun to rise in him as well, "Maybe he just went out or something..."

"I really don't think so...", Frank said before starting to break into even louder sobs.

"Alright, alright, I'm heading over there right now..."

"...oh god Mikey, there's blood all over his sheets..."

Next chapter: Realization.


	9. Famous Last Words

Chapter Nine: Famous Last Words.

Gerard recoiled in his bed. Or more like the bed James had put him in. He still didn't know where he was. He had woken up there, and James had been standing over him. Then had come another beating. He had tried to escape, but Gerard realized he had lost the ability walk. He suspected it was from the damage dealt from the curling iron, but James had just a couple of hours ago given his ankle a good breaking just to be sure. He had tried to simply ask James where he had been taken, but James had only laughed and continued to assault him.

The door opened and James stepped inside. Gerard had heard him coming down the hallway that he had yet to see. He tried to back away as far as the bed would allow him, but he knew it was pointless.

James smiled mockingly and stroked a hand gently through Gee's hair.

"Hey, sweetie."

Mikey had practically flown home to find Frank and Ray in matching panics. There was no sign of a break in. He had gone into Gerard's room to find that the sheets under the blankets were indeed soaked in a puddle of blood; some of it fresh, some of it looking dried and old. Mikey had nearly fainted at the sight of it - had Gerard been lying there, bleeding this whole time? The police were called, the blood enough reason to begin an immediate search and investigation.

One day passed, then another, than another. By the fourth day, the search had already become a nearly worldwide issue. A constant trending topic on Twitter was #gerardcomehome. Other rock stars such as Jared Leto, Bert McCracken, and Billie Joe Armstrong vocalized to their fans about the urgency of the matter. All sorts of rumors flew around, especially over the vague message that had been posted about the band "taking a break". The press wouldn't leave it alone; headlines pointing fingers for Gerard's "kidnapping" were everywhere.

Meanwhile the police were digging up more and more disturbing things. Or at least, things that were news to the band. People claimed to have seen him at various hotels and motels over the past weeks. That wasn't terribly strange, Mikey had thought, as they knew he had to be sneaking around somewhere to get these drugs. But then things just got weirder. The police had dug through Gerard's room and had found a large garbage bag stashed away. It was filled with clothes, mostly pants, all of which were heavily blood stained. They showed it to Mikey and asked if he had ever seen it before. Eyes wide in shock, Mikey shook his head no.

They found Gerard's sketchbook. The last drawing was some rather hasty looking sketch of Gerard himself that seemed to have gone incomplete. He had written the word 'UGLY' in big, capital letters over and over on the paper. He had written the words 'BLEEDING' all over another page.

There were tubs upon tubs of concealer stashed away in his drawers. Any presence of underwear was mysteriously missing. Gerard had kept a secret stock of gauze and first aid supplies in his closet, tons of them. There were spots of blood on the carpet as well. Mikey, Frank, and Ray marveled at all they had missed.

Frank in particular was feeling especially unnerved. He remembered his dream. He remembered the things Gerard had said to him. He remembered the look on Gee's face when he came to yell at Gerard about the drugs he had found.

Why hadn't he seen that there was more going on?

On Friday September 18 2010, Mikey Way made an official statement to the public along with the people who were in charge of the investigation. They had figured it would be good for the band to make a public appearance about it, to not only assure the fans that something was being done about it, but to send out the message to any possible kidnapper that they were hot on the case and they weren't going to let up.

Mikey stared out into the crowd. Quite a few hundred had come. For the most part, it was press. But there were a lot of fans who had come to show their support as well. They were outdoors at a local memorial park, where nothing but a crappy stage and a podium had been set up, along with some fold out chairs for their audience. Yet they had been told to come in formal attire, suit and tie. News station vans were parked everywhere. His heart pounded and he felt very uneasy about the fact that all these eyes were staring at him, eager to hear the horrible news of his brother's ordeal, hungry for every little detail.

He took a deep breath and began, "About a week ago my brother and best friend Gerard Arthur Way went missing. We are still unsure as to how or why. We don't know if he was kidnapped or if he may have just walked off. However, there is sufficient evidence to believe he was badly injured at the time he disappeared, making this a dangerous situation for him either way. The Los Angeles police are doing all they can to find him, and I appreciate the help and support they have given us so far. I urge anyone with any information to PLEASE come forward, if you see or have seen any sightings of him please contact the police right away. I ask you, right now, to see Gerard not as a celebrity or a rockstar but as a human being. Yes, Gerard Way has said some stupid things or done stupid stuff before. But he's always been there for me, and he's helped me through some hard times. And I KNOW, especially for the fans, that many of you can say the same, at least to some degree. So don't we owe him at least some effort to try and find him, especially if he could be in some sort of danger? He means as a great deal to us, just like you all have loved ones that mean a great deal to you. This is no different. It's only been one week but I already miss him so much..."

The press snapped a million shots per second as Mikey began to cry. Annoyed at them and feeling sorry for his friend, Frank gently pulled Mikey aside and stepped up to the stand and continued for him.

"Gerard, if there's any chance you're watching this right now, please, come home. And if you can't for any reason, or if you have been taken, then hang in there. We're never going to stop trying to find you. Despite any arguments we've had in the past, we all love you very much, and we want nothing more right now than to see you safe at home. Know that you haven't left our minds for a single second since you've been gone. Stay strong Gerard, I love you."

Gerard was shivering. He was cold as ice. He was still wearing the same shirt and pants he had woken up with, and he hadn't been given any other clothes to wear. He hadn't been given any blankets either. He hadn't been fed, or given any water. It would seem like James really intended to let him rot here.

James was sitting on the corner of the bed, playing with his cellphone. He turned to Gerard and smirked.

"I'm texting your precious Mikey right now. Letting him know how sorry I feel that such an awful thing happened, and that I'm always here if he needs a shoulder to cry on."

Gerard glared at him. He so desperately wanted to pry the phone from James but he knew it was no use. He was too weak. He could barely move. Three of his ribs and his ankle were broken. His body was still getting over the burns from before, and some new burns had been inflicted on him recently. Since they no longer had anyone to hide the injuries from, James no longer had any reservations with hitting him in the face and arms. He couldn't do anything – James still knew where Mikey lived, and as far as Mikey knew, James was his friend.

James stood up from the mattress, "Actually, I think I'm going to head home. But how bout some head before I go?" He unzipped himself and stood before Gerard, erect. Gerard didn't move. Mostly because his neck was too sore from James strangling him earlier while they fucked. Gerard just looked down begrudgingly.

"Need help?", James said, sensing Gerard's discomfort. He grabbed Gerard by the jaw and yanked it open, pushing himself into his mouth and grabbed a hold of Gerard's hair to yank his head back and forth on it. Gerard was gagging. This had happened often enough where Gerard had learned to give the best blow job he could because it was better than James controlling his movements, as James wasn't exactly gentle. So Gerard grabbed a hold of both sides of James' bare legs and tried to give the blow job on his own, despite his aching muscles.

"That's a good boy.", James purred, petting Gerard.

After a while James finally came into his mouth, and he tilted Gerard's head back and put a hand over his lips, so he was forced to swallow his load. This was one of the things Gerard had yet to be used to, as he would try to vomit it out right after, every time. But he would learn eventually, James shrugged.

As Gerard retched like always, James put his pants back on and got something from his shoulder bag. It was a piece of pizza loaded with toppings that had been wrapped with tissue. Gerard instantly felt his stomach growling. James grinned, "You like?"

"Please…" Gerard breathed out. James laughed and put the pizza on a table - all the way across the room. Gerard's heart sank.

"You're welcome to it. If you can actually reach it. Laters." James waved and walked out the door.

Gerard sighed. He had to get it, he hadn't eaten anything since he got here aside from James' semen. Making up his mind, he tried to move off the bed inch by inch. Eventually he got to the edge of it, and swung his legs over the bed. So far, so good. He wondered if maybe he could wobble over to it really quick. Desperate for food, he decided to go for it. He put both his feet down on the floor, and did his best to stand.

And he managed it. Unsteady and incredibly unbalanced, he managed it. He almost smiled. But then his legs gave in, and he fell face down into the floor.

Well, he had gotten this far.

He at the least tried to bend his knees. Once he did that, he managed to do somewhat of a crawl. A very slow crawl, but it was movement. His whole body was screaming for him to stop with every twist, turn, or stretch. The pain was overwhelming him. He began sweating heavily, his breathing becoming labored. After a few moments, his vision started getting blurry. He felt like he had gone 1,000 miles, and he wondered how much closer to the table across the room he had actually gotten.

In truth, not very far at all.

But Gerard pushed himself. He knew if he were to survive this thing, he had to get some food in him. And dammit, he was still bent on surviving as far as he could help it.

Finally, after what felt like another 30 minutes of extremely painful muscle strain, Gerard was within arms reach of one of the tables legs. But then he heard the door open again.

"Forgot something." Came James' voice. He saw James' shoes walk across the room to the bed almost teasingly, showing how fast he could achieve what Gerard just spent what felt like an eternity struggling to do. Then he saw James' feet get closer to him, and he knew James was hovering over him. He strained his neck to look up at what he was doing.

"Actually, I think I'm pretty hungry myself." James mused. And Gerard saw James grab the slice of pizza from the table and shove it into his own mouth. "Mmm. That's good stuff. Anyway, catch ya later kiddo."

James kicked Gerard hard in the chest, causing him to flip over like a turtle on his shell before he chuckled and left.

Ray and Frank sat silently watching TV. How I Met Your Mother was on, but neither of them were paying attention to it. Both of them could hear Mikey sobbing in his room, and neither could ignore the heartbreaking sound no matter how hard they tried. It wasn't like they were avoiding being comforting to him – they had tried consoling him many times over. But he just wouldn't stop crying.

"I'll go this time." Ray said finally. Frank nodded.

Ray went up and over to Mikey's room. He found Mikey sobbing into his pillow. He kneeled down next to Mikey, and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey.", he said softly.

"Hi.", Mikey sniffled.

"You wanna talk about anything?"

"Nothing I haven't bitched about before."

"Even still, you can tell me. Just let it all out."

Mikey lifted himself from the pillow finally and sat upright.

"I dunno…" he said, wiping at his eyes, "Its just so fucked up. My last fucking words to him were basically blaming him for what was happening, and it's starting to look like I was totally wrong about that…. what if it turns out that those are the last words I ever say to him?"

Ray didn't know what to say. It was true that the more time that passed, the more real that possibility seemed: that whatever they last said to Gerard may be their last words ever spoken to him. And Ray knew that while he hadn't really fought or scolded or yelled at Gerard like the other two, he had been rather cold during recent events. When Gerard was bedridden, he didn't come to visit once. Actually, he had avoided the room. He didn't want to see his friend in such a state. He had consoled himself with the idea that Gerard deserved what he got. He grimaced and looked Mikey in the eyes. Those desperate eyes looking to cling to some hope in all this confusion. He said this to Mikey, but perhaps also a little to himself, "I'm sure wherever Gerard is, he knows that you love him Mikey. We haven't been through as much shit as we have together without building a bond that can't be broken by silly fights or disagreements. A bond that automatically assigns this like, silent understanding that no matter what, we love each other."

Mikey sniffed, "Yeah, I guess your right… its just scary you know? What if we never find him?"

"We'll find him Mikey, don't you worry, we'll find him."

Mikey smiled. "Okay."

Ray gave Mikey's shoulder one last squeeze and left to rejoin Frank, leaving Mikey to sit there and dwell on what Ray just told him. Suddenly, he felt his cellphone vibrate. He didn't recognize the number, but he was pretty much willing to take any call lately in hopes that it would lead to something regarding Gerard.

"Hello?", he picked up.

"Hello? Mikey Way?", came a rather hushed voice from the other side.

"Yes, who's this?"

"My name is Will Roque. I'm an old friend of your brothers. I think I have some information that can help you find him."

Next chapter: Explanation.


	10. Rag Doll

A/N: Writing the beginning scene of this chapter seriously almost made me vomit. I hope you appreciate that. :P Also, big NSFW warning for this one.

Chapter Ten: Rag Doll.

James had started bringing friends over. And they were some really nasty looking pieces of work. Forty year old men with beer bellies, beard covered faces, and rather bad body odor. They had come for one thing and one thing only: a piece of the famous Gerard Way. James had allowed them to have a go at him for a fee and a contract swearing their secrecy as to his location.

Sitting on his bed, Gerard looked up at four of them wide eyed as they stood over him, eyeing him hungrily.

"Oh how the mighty hath fallen.", said one, caressing Gerard's face with stubby fingers. Gee shuddered, and he felt the same hand slapping him hard a second later.

"Let's get his pants off.", snickered another skinnier one. The fat one nodded and they both went about stripping Gerard of his clothes. Gerard, as usual, tried to get his mind to wander elsewhere as he felt both their hands groping his bare skin. He felt them lay him down on his stomach roughly, and one proceeded to finger his anus while the other stuffed his cock into his mouth. He saw the two others removing their own pants, beginning to jack off to this eagerly.

"Use your tongue, boy.", the one whose cock was in his mouth prodded. Gerard attempted to obey, but apparently it still wasn't enough to satisfy the man as he said to his friends a minute later, "This one ain't playin' right."

"Maybe he doesn't find your cock very appetizing." One of them laughed.

"Well let's find something he does feel like eating.", said the fat one who had been fingering him. He was eyeing something in the corner of the bed. He reached over to get it, and Gerard paled when he saw what it was: the bucket he had been urinating and defecating in. Mind, there wasn't much in there, considering there hadn't been anything to really expel, but there still enough.

The fat one seemed to have no reserve in digging his hand through the combination of urine and feces, and he grabbed a whole handful. The others were laughing.

"Open wide sweetheart.", the man taunted. Gerard backed away. There was no way this was happening. But before he could go any further, the skinny one grabbed a hold of his face, forcing his jaw open. Gee tried to resist, but he was too weak.

The fat one shoved the glob of shit and piss into his mouth, making sure to poke it to the very back of his throat, so he had enough room to force in another glob, before the skinny one forced his jaw shut. The fat one then put his hand over Gerard's mouth, forcing it closed. The thick, mud like mixture was trapped inside his mouth, putrid and incredibly salty in taste, mixing with his saliva. Gerard was screaming and kicking. Or at least trying to.

"Swallow it, boy!", one of the men yelled.

Gerard blinked back tears. He knew the longer it stayed in his mouth, the worse it would be. So, bracing himself as much as he possibly could, he forced himself to swallow the fecal matter. He gagged a million times over as he felt it sliding down his throat. He couldn't swallow it all in one gulp, so he had to do it bit by bit. Automatically he felt bile rising up his esophagus. He tried the pry the man's hand away as to not throw up on it, but the man refused to, perhaps assuming Gerard was trying to get out of it. And so, he ended up vomiting right on it.

"FUCK!", the fat one screamed as he quickly snatched his hand away, allowing Gee to vomit freely. "LITTLE BITCH!"

Gerard didn't even have time to finish puking before they proceeded to begin beating him for spewing vomit into the man's hand. Gerard found himself on the floor a second later, being kicked by all four of them at the same time.

"STOP! PLEASE! I'M SORRY!", he shrieked hopelessly. In desperation, he tried to distract his mind again as he felt the painful blows, and he couldn't help but wonder if his brother or Frank anyone was even bothering to look for him.

"Go on." Mikey prodded. He had put the man on speaker phone and called Ray and Frank over. They were now huddled on the floor, around the phone. Frank was taking notes on a pad as they all listened intently. Will had been telling them about how James and Gerard had known each other years ago.

Will continued, "James went to the same art school we did. He and Gerard became real close friends over time and eventually they started dating."

"Gerard never mentioned dating anyone named James." Mikey interrupted.

"Like he'd tell you? James was his first boyfriend. Typically when you realize your gay and you start going out with a guy for the first time, you aren't so quick to go shouting it out to the rest of the world. Nah, he kept it on the down low, they both did. At first they would only see each other at group events, later it progressed to something more private. They dated for about a month until James started drinking. Then shit started hitting the fan. He started acting like a real jerk. It began with some verbal abuse, telling Gerard he was fat or ugly. He started cheating and flirting with other guys and told Gerard that he would stop only when Gerard learned to be pretty like they were. Broke the poor kid's heart. Then he started hurting Gerard physically."

"What?", Mikey exclaimed.

"Hold your horses kid, I haven't gotten to the bad part yet. Anyway, yes, James started hitting Gerard. The beatings just got worse and worse. Eventually Gerard's injuries started getting severe. You remember those months where he would constantly sleep over your cousin Mark's house?"

"Yeah…" Mikey nodded.

"Well he was actually sleeping over mine. My parents were never home cause of work, so he was free to come over wounded and bloody without anyone but me seeing. He would stay at my place until he could recover, and we could conceal his injuries, and then he would go home, and a few days later it would just happen all over again. This went on for about four months."

"W-why didn't he tell me? Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't anyone fucking tell me?", Mikey cried, hurt that such a horrible secret had been kept from him.

"He was too damn proud. Well, not really proud - actually more like ashamed. His worst fear was you knowing, Mikey. He saw himself as your big brother, someone you were supposed to look up to and seek guidance from. Not some drunken bastard's bitch."

"Hey!" Frank scolded.

"Relax - I'm quoting Gerard when I say that. But that's not the end of it. See Gerard was a virgin at the time, and he had been holding off sexual contact with anyone…"

Mikey buried his face in his hands, sensing where this was going.

"…but James didn't like that. Not one bit. He had tried to talk Gerard into it, having his first time with him. But Gerard was adamant. Stubborn kid, your brother. Not really sure why, I guess he just didn't want to feel more tainted than he already felt. But James was stubborn too. So one night, James took Gerard out, and he raped him."

"Fuck….", Frank breathed out, "Fucking bastard… I'm going to fucking kill him…". He looked over at Mikey who had tears rolling quietly down his face. But Will wasn't done talking.

"After that, needless to say, Gerard finally was pissed off enough to break up with him. But that just made James angrier. So one day while Gerard was coming home from school, James and a few more of his friends jumped him, and they dragged him off and raped him again. All of them did. It's amazing that he survived. That was the time he had to stay over at 'Marks' for a whole week. After that though, by some miracle, James family had to move over some deal with his parents."

"So, you figure James was the one who took him now?", Ray asked.

"I know James is the one who took 'im. First off, considering everything I just told you, who else would it be? Second off, I know because I still talk to him. All the time. And he's been bragging about it. See that James was never very smart when it came to covering his tracks. Told me the whole thing one drunken, drug filled night at this party a few weeks ago. Originally, when he signed up with you guys, he had his eye on Mikey. Saw how little Mikey had grown, and he wanted a piece of him. But Gerard had begged to him to keep away from his brother. So James struck a deal with him. Gerard would let James do whatever he wanted to him as long as Mikey remained untouched. And if Gerard squealed, James would kill both him and Mikey. Maybe Ray and Frank too. That combined with how head over heels you guys were for James, and it was the perfect hostage situation."

"And...wait…why should we believe you?", Frank asked.

"Think about everything that's happened lately. Anything weird or odd you guys have found. Fits, doesn't it? You can check Gerard's year book. My name is there, James name is there too."

"And WHY are you just telling us this now?", Mikey growled.

"I'll admit, I'm a bit of a coward. That James can do some real terrible stuff if he's given the opportunity, do not underestimate that. He didn't just beat Gerard, he tortured him. Years ago there was a huge fuss over a girl at our school who was murdered. They never found her killer. James never said anything about it, but I'm pretty sure he did it. He had been fighting with her just a few weeks before that. Gerard did and does fear James for good reason. But your little speech at the park pulled at my heartstrings, and I've always had a soft spot for Gerard. I haven't heard from James in a while, but if he's finally just outright taken him, you don't have much time to save him."

And he hung up.

Gerard yelped as he was thrown into the table again. And again. And again. When they got bored of that they lifted him off the ground like the rag doll he had become and threw him naked on the floor. There were six men this time. They were all standing around him in a circle like hungry, nude vultures. Gerard was already in pain from James fucking him earlier. He had felt frisky today.

"What do you wanna do with him now?", one asked.

"Lets get out the taser gun."

"Oh! Nice idea!"

Gerard whimpered as they pulled him upward by the hair. A pair of arms wrapped around him and held him in place as one of them went through a duffle bag they had brought. The man retrieved the taser gun and waddled over to where Gee was.

"Make sure it works right.", someone muttered.

The man in front of him grinned maliciously before he started up the gun and slammed it into Gerard's neck. He continued to press down into him as Gerard screamed and squealed.

"Yeah, it works," the man laughed and he removed it from Gee's neck. Gerard's head automatically fell limp as he gasped for air. The man in front of him lifted his chin up to have Gee looking right at him.

"See this?" He waved the taser in his face. "If you aren't the best damn whore we've ever had, you'll be this taser's whore, you understand?"

Gerard looked at the taser wide eyed and nodded.

"I wanna hear you say it.", the man growled.

"Yes…", he said in a whisper.

"That's not loud enough.", the man scolded, and crammed the taser into Gee's neck again, at the same spot that was still severely stinging from before. "I said DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"

Through his screaming, Gerard managed to screech out the word "YES!". The man smirked and removed it again.

"Better.", he said nonchalantly "Now. Whores come with blowjobs. We all chipped in good money for you, therefore, we're all entitled to one. So get on your knees, and get to sucking!"

The one who was holding him released him and pushed him back onto the floor as they all laughed.

"Me first!" one yelled. Gerard grimaced as the man thrust his thickly-hair rimmed hardness towards him, and Gerard did his best to position himself. Holding his breath, he wrapped his lips around the man's erection and tried not to gag. The others around him were using this time to jack off.

"Moan, bitch!", the man holding the taser yelled.

"MmmMMmm…" Gerard moaned out, trying his best to make it sound pleasurable. Apparently he didn't succeed, as he felt a shock on his back from the taser a second later.

"Try harder!", the man who shocked him yelled.

"MMmmMMM!"Gerard tried again, while fighting the urge to start crying.

"Oh yeah, that's good…" the man who he was sucking off moaned.

After a few minutes, he was tasered again.

"You're spending too much time on one person!", they barked. Gerard whimpered and moved on to the guy next to him. And then to the next. And then to the next. A couple of times, the guy he was sucking off came into his mouth, but he wasn't given time to recover - he had to move on to the next one quickly or he would be tasered again.

"Enough of this." One finally declared after what felt like an hour, "Let's move on."

The others nodded and Gerard felt himself being dragged over to the table, where they bent him over the edge, pinning his upper half to the top of it. They muttered amongst themselves for a while before he felt two of them come up behind him.

"Brace yourself kid.", one of them said. But for what, he didn't say. Nor did he give any time for bracing. Suddenly, he felt someone's hands pull apart his buttocks, while he felt another person's fist on the rim of his anus. The person that was pulling his cheeks apart seemed to be trying to pull them apart as far as they would go, and the fist went farther into his anus, entering it, stretching out the already severely damaged tissue inside. Gerard let out a strangled sounding cry which he got tasered for.

It was too much. He bursted out into hysterical sobs.

But either no one noticed, or no one cared as they just carried on, the man digging his fist in further and further. Eventually they just got bored with it, deciding they didn't want to stretch him out too much.

After tasering him into spreading his legs as wide as they would go, one of them penetrated him without warning, thrusting into Gerard enthusiastically. Then another decided it was his turn. For hours they each took turns with him. One of them was particularly heavy set, and Gerard both screamed and cried while he pummeled into him, as he felt his pelvis being painfully broken crack by crack against the table. When the last one was done, they grabbed him by the shoulders and threw him into a wall. His head hit it hard and the room started spinning.

James was awoken by the sound of the doorbell repeatedly ringing. He begrudgingly got out of the bed and groggily made his way to the front door. He opened it, but didn't even get a chance to see who it was before his face collided with Mikey Way's fist.

"WHAT THE FUCK?"

"WHERE THE FUCK IS MY BROTHER?", Mikey screeched, before punching him in the face about 8 more times.

"THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?", James yelled back, cradling his nose which was now spewing blood and quite visibly broken.

"I TRUSTED YOU, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!", Mikey screamed, now kicking James repeatedly in the stomach. As James doubled over from the pain, Frank ran in and held Mikey back.

"Not now Mikey, we need him for information.", Frank muttered to the clearly enraged Way before walking over to James and knocking him out with his own fist.

James came to about an hour later. The first thing he noticed was that he couldn't move. He was being restrained by something. Eventually he realized he was strapped to his own rotating chair by thick layers of duct tape. The next thing that came into focus was the image of Frank Iero, standing over him with a sharp knife.

Frank smiled.

Next chapter: Confrontation.


	11. Whats Worth Fighting For

Chapter Eleven: What's Worth Fighting For.

"How did you find out?"

James was perspiring, talking through gritted teeth. Perhaps trying to make conversation to distract himself from the pain he was enduring. Frank was using this time to rip off every one of James fingernails, only willing to stop when James revealed Gerard's location. Whenever he would finish ripping off a nail, he would use the same knife to scrape around the bleeding flesh of James' bare nail bed.

"Not really any of your business to know. We have our sources." Frank said, not looking up from the little manicure he was giving.

"I haven't seen Gerard in hours. Could be dead by now for all I know. AGH!" James screamed as Frank pulled off his left pinky nail particularly hard.

"Then you better get to telling us where he is before you have manslaughter on your plate too.", Frank growled.

"You don't intimidate me ya' fuckin' midget." James laughed. Frank narrowed his eyes at James and turned around. Ray had been standing by the doorway. Frank motioned something and Ray handed him a set of pliers.

"Fine." Frank said, sitting back down on his chair in front of James. He nodded his head at Ray and Ray walked over, stood next to James, and grabbed his lower jaw, yanking it down. Frank went in, gripped a tooth with the pliers, and yanked it out. James yelped.

"Still ready not ready to talk?"

Silence.

"Fine, I got all night." Frank smirked before having Ray open his mouth again and reaching in for another. And then a third tooth was ripped out. And then a fourth. After five or so minutes, the entirety of the right side of James mouth was filled with blood. After yanking out a fifth one, Frank grinned.

"Hey Ray, I think James here needs a shot."

"Good idea, Frank."

Ray yanked back James' head by his blonde locks and grabbed a bottle of rubbing alcohol. Frank pulled his jaw down again and James really started struggling, realizing what they were about to do. But he could do nothing against the restraints. Frank laughed as Ray tilted down the open bottle and poured the alcohol into James' open mouth. James screamed loudly as the burning liquid splashed onto the open wounds.

"I think he's trying to say something." said Mikey, who had been standing in the corner of the room, told to stay put so they wouldn't have murder on their record as well.

Ray put back the alcohol and Frank removed his hand from James face.

"Alright! Alright!" He screamed while trying to spit out the alcohol. "I'll tell you where he is. He's in this cabin on Fox Farm Rd in Big Bear Mountain. The number on it is 8723."

"Awesome!" Frank perked up. "Ray remove his socks, yeah?"

"What? You said you'd stop!"

Frank laughed as Ray went about pulling off James' slippers and socks, "Ha! I lied!" He got out a razorblade from the table behind him and bent down to James' exposed left foot.

"This little piggy went to market…."

With the razor blade, Frank sliced open the skin between James' big toe and the one next to it.

…this little piggy stayed at home…"

He sliced open the next crevice. James screamed.

"….THIS little piggy had roast beef…."

He sliced open the next bit of skin.

"Stop! Please!" James begged. Frank sneered.

"…this little piggy had none!"

He gave the last skin connected to the pinky toe a practically harsh slash. James screamed again.

"Where are your shoes?" Frank asked suddenly.

"I-in the bottom of the closet."

Frank turned to Mikey.

"Mikey, would you mind?"

Mikey nodded and left the room to go to James bedroom, retrieving just a minute later with a black pair of sneakers. Frank took them and got up.

"One moment."

He left to the kitchen and returned with the shoes again a second later.

"Ray would you put these on James' feet for him? Thanks." Ray nodded and put the right shoe on James'. Frank brought out a pistol and tossed it to Mikey. When Ray put the left shoe on James left foot, James let out a horrible yell.

"WHAT THE FUCK?", he screamed.

Frank smiled at him and casually said, "I filled your shoe with salt. Doesn't feel so nice against those cuts now does it? Ray, unbind him."

Ray started undoing the tape that kept him to the chair while Mikey played with the gun menacingly. Once James was fully undone, he immediately tried getting up, but Mikey shoved the gun in his face, pressing it against his sweating temple.

"What more do you want? I already told you where the little whore was." James spat. Mikey growled warningly.

"You seriously didn't think we'd drive off and find him without you, did you?" Frank laughed, "Thought you'd just run off the minute we'd turn our backs? Oh no honey, you're not getting out of this that easy. Hell, you're not getting out of this at all. You're driving us there."

"Or what?"

"Or I'll blow your head off.", Mikey hissed.

"Bluffing! You wouldn't shoot me, without me you'd have no lead."

"You really wanna test whether or not I'd shoot my brother's rapist?", Mikey glared. James fell silent. Frank stomped on James' injured foot. James screamed. Frank grinned.

"Get walkin'!"

Gerard was curled up into a ball in the corner of his room. If he had been counting the nights right, then it was about to be his 9th day there. It was a shock he had survived this long without food or water.

There had been no indication that anyone was coming to save him. He wondered if Mikey had already forgotten him. Of course, he knew Mikey would never just completely leave him behind like this, but as the time passed, he couldn't help but feel his hope drain more and more.

It was freezing. And he was naked. The last guy who had come had completely ripped up his clothes and had thrown them on the bed, which he was too weak to crawl towards. In addition, he had been coughing up blood lately. He suspected one of his broken ribs had finally pierced his lung causing an internal bleed. He was also sleepy, his eyelids constantly dropping, but it was the fact that he knew he most likely had a concussion that kept him awake. And he had done everything in his power to stay awake, even if it meant fingering his own wounds from time to time so the pain could slap him into consciousness.

Some part of him was still determined to survive this. He wanted to see Frank again. He wanted to see Mikey. He wanted to see Ray. He wanted to see Lindsey. Most of all he wanted to see his baby girl, Bandit. Even if the world hated him, he knew Bandit loved him. She was oblivious to any of this, and last she saw him, he was still someone she could look up to. Someone she could trust. He was still her "da-da". He felt like he would be letting her down by giving up, the one person who might still believe in him.

Thinking of her, Gerard felt a surge of motivation once more. Standing was out of the question, so he tried his best to simply begin to crawl. Using his arms, he lounged himself forward and pushed as hard as he could. He could feel his now nearly useless lower half being dragged on the floor with him. Using all his strength, he was able to move himself a couple of inches. Gripping the floor a bit more, he was able to move a couple more inches further after that. But already, exhaustion was beginning to overwhelm him. After one more push forward, he stopped to catch his breath. He had barely moved 3 feet from the corner he started in.

He looked at the ways he had to go in this room alone. He had no idea how big the building he was in was. Even in a small sized home, he knew he would never make it. Sighing, he scooted back into the corner. It was useless. Alone, cold, tired, hurting, and hungry, Gee hugged his knees to his chest and waited for death. He closed his eyes and let the darkness wash over him.

Daylight was nearly breaking by the time they got there. Just as Frank suspected, the address James had given had been a bluff. Being held at gunpoint, he had been forced to take them to the real location. It was a very nice house in secluded canyon type area, obviously a vacation home. It was two stories high and had the appearance of a log cabin. Frank looked over to James who was limping, his face crunched up in the pain from his foot. Mikey was behind him, not letting the gun falter from the back of his head for a second.

"Go on then." Frank inclined his head towards the door.

James glared at him and limped his way over to the door and got out the key from under the doormat. He unlocked it and swung it open.

"You first." Frank nudged, in case this was a trap of any sort. James grumbled and walked inside, the boys followed. It was a dark house, cold and chilly. He led them down a hallway full of nice decor and stopped at the last door in the hall. He froze, and seemed suddenly very nervous. Mikey poked him with the gun. Having no choice he opened the door.

"GERARD!", Mikey screamed.

There, in the left hand corner of the room where he was facing, was the huddled, bleeding form of his brother. He looked broken and slain. His heart jumping out of his chest, Mikey ran to him.

"Mikey...", Gerard breathed out. It was nearly inaudible.

"You're alive! Oh thank god...", Mikey cried, wrapping his arms around Gerard, sobbing openly. He buried his nose in Gerard's bright red hair, taking in every bit of Gerard that he possibly could. Mikey kissed his head repeatedly, and cried even harder as Gerard placed a hand on his arm, gripping it weakly.

Gerard felt someone stroke a hand through his hair, and he turned around to see Frank kneeling next to him.

"Gerard...I'm so sorry...", said Frank who looked like he was on the verge of tears as well.

Gerard tried to smile, "It's okay, Frank..."

"Um, guys...", came Ray's voice. They all looked up, none of them having been focused on anything other the fact that they were finally reunited, and how good that felt.

Ray was looking at James, who was grinning maliciously. He had the gun, and he was pointing it right at them with shaking bloody hands. Mikey realized with horror that he must have dropped it in his rush to get to his brother. Frank stood up and James pointed the gun dead center on Gerard.

"Don't do anything stupid. He might be alive now, but barely. I'd say one shot anywhere would kill him.", James spat.

"I'd think you're the one who needs to refrain from doing anything stupid James." ,Ray chimed in, "You already have rape, assault and abduction on your hands - you really wanna add murder to that? Really?"

"No one's going to ever know, because there's not going to be any living witnesses!", James sounded desperate, his voice was cracking. His eyes were wide and crazy. He knew this was his only chance of getting out of this. He started alternating who he was pointing the pistol at. "So who dies first, hmm? You? You? How 'bout the little fucker that started this whole thing?"

James pointed it at Mikey. Everyone was too afraid to move.

Then an amazing thing happened.

A very agitated scream came from underneath Mikey, who had wrapped himself around Gerard protectively. Gee screeched, "YOU WILL NOT HURT MY BROTHER!" And Mikey felt himself being shoved aside as Gerard lifted himself off the ground, ran towards James, launched himself onto him, and tackled him. They both crashed to floor as they wrestled with each other, Gerard looking ready to kill. Frank, Mikey, and Ray finally snapped out of their shock, and Frank attempted to go in and pry Gerard off James before he got too hurt.

But then the sound of a gunshot rang through the air.

Next chapter: The aftermath.


	12. Fear And Optimism

A/N: I want to thank all the reviewers and what not. Hope you enjoyed it.

Chapter Twelve: Fear And Optimism.

Gerard opened his eyes ever so slightly, and a bright light came over him. Trying not to burn his retinas, he blinked a few times before really trying to open them fully. He was in a white room that smelled like rubber gloves and plastic. He tilted his head slightly and looked around. He was in a hospital room. The brightness of the room was painful to him, after being so used to the dim lighting that James' place had offered.

Was he finally free? The idea seemed too good to be true. Then he looked down at his bed and saw Mikey on the edge of the mattress, asleep, using his own arm as a pillow. Gerard felt himself smile.

"Gee?"

Gerard looked up. He hadn't seen Frank in the corner of the room, but there he was. He must have realized Gerard was awake. Frank walked over to him, and Mikey awoke to the sound of his footsteps.

"Gee!", Mikey chirped happily, throwing his arms around his brother once more.

"Hey guys.", Gerard said in an extremely raspy voice, while returning Mikey's hug best he could. "What uhhh...?"

"James is dead.", Frank said bluntly. Gerard hung his head slightly.

"I killed him...", Gerard whispered.

He remembered it vaguely. He had wrestled with James for the gun for a while, and, scared for his life and the lives of his friends and brother, he had not hesitated in twisting the pistol in James' direction with all his might and pulling the trigger.

"Don't worry dude, we talked to the police about it, they agreed it was self defense. You're not going to be charged with anything.", Frank smiled at him. While the legalities of it weren't the only issues Gerard had with having murdered a man, let alone his first boyfriend, Gerard did his best to take comfort in that fact.

It was over, and there was nothing left to do but to move on.

Frank was throwing Gerard's DVDs everywhere. Gee glared in annoyance. It was Frank's turn to stay with Gerard tonight, and he wanted them to have a movie marathon. Problem was that he wouldn't pick a single god damn movie. Using his wheelchair, he tried to gather some of the ones Frank had thrown on the floor in his search. The doctors had told him it would be six months at the earliest before he could walk again, and he used the wheelchair whenever he wasn't in physical therapy.

"God damn Gerard, you own the shittiest films." Frank scoffed as he looked at the cover of The Mothman Prophesies.

"Shut up Frank. You wouldn't know a good movie if it hit you in the face."

"Oh right, and you have great fucking taste. I mea - OW!", Frank yelped as a DVD case collided with his head. He looked at Gerard, who had thrown the DVD, and was smirking bemusedly. To Gerard's surprise, Frank's face split into a huge grin.

"My God Gee, that actually hurt!"

"And you're happy about that why?"

"You managed a really good throw! Your upper arm strength must be getting better!", Frank smiled.

"Oh right...", Gerard smiled back.

Frank picked up the movie he had thrown. It was Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

"Aw, sweet!", he laughed. Texas Chainsaw Massacre was one of his favorite movies. He set up the DVD and went to go help Gerard into the bed. Hopping up next to Gee, he pulled the sheets over both of them and let Gerard cuddle into him as they sat upright against the headboard.

"So, are you excited about tomorrow?" Frank asked.

"What do I have to be excited about?"

"Um, you're seeing Lindsey for the first time in like months. Bandit too." Frank looked down at his friend, confused. The MSI tour was finally over, and they were on a plane back home as they spoke. He had thought Gerard would be ecstatic.

"Well of course I'm excited to see them...it's just...", Gerard looked at Frank with sad eyes. "I don't know how they'll react to me..."

"Gerard, there's no reason they'd react to you any different than they did when they last saw you." Frank tried to reassure him.

"Have you seen what I look like underneath my shirt, Frank?"

"Gerard..."

"The minute she does... God, she's never going to want to touch me again..."

Gerard had started rocking back and forth as he often did nowadays, tears filling his eyes. Frank put his hands on his shoulders to steady him.

"Hey, hey, stop that.", Frank wrapped his arms around his now shaking friend, who seemed ready to have yet another break down. He had been having small ones here and there since he got out of the hospital. "Listen to me, you are beautiful. I don't care what that asshole told you, what any of those assholes told you. You are seriously one of the most beautiful people I have ever seen, and that hasn't changed a single bit since this whole thing happened. These scars, these scars don't make you ugly. They just show how strong you were. They show what you were able to survive. In a way, they make you even more beautiful to me then you ever were before."

"Yeah, well, what if she doesn't see it that way Frankie?", Gerard sniffed.

"Then you come right back to me. I'm not letting anyone hurt you. Never again."

Gerard sighed and buried his face back into Frank's chest. A flash of lighting came upon them from the window, as a new thunderstorm began to roll in. Frank held Gerard close, and while they both knew that Frank could never protect Gerard from every bruise or scratch the future held, or vice versa, they also knew that as long as they had each other, for the most part, everything would be okay.

Both trusting and loved, they stepped into the storm together.

END.


End file.
